"The Ymir and Kong before him are both creatures wrenched from their natural environment against their will and finally killed by man. Although these creatures must always die, they should go out with a touch of pathos."

"Intellectuals have attempted to read certain symbolisms into King Kong. Kong represents a Depression-stricken people lashing out against society; Kong is a Christ figure crucified on a stage before an audience of spectators; Kong symbolizes the black man and his conflict against his white oppressors; Kong on the Empire State Building depicts the most spectacular phallic symbol ever captured by film; and so on. Cooper has disavowed these "insights" into his film; he was not the kind of person to consider injecting messages into his productions. … Whatever messages might lurk beneath the film's surface were entirely coincidental on Cooper's part or, at best, subliminal."

"All three "King Kongs"--the classic 1933 version starring Fay Wray, the campy 1976 version starring Jessica Lange and the current epic by "Lord of the Rings" director Peter Jackson--feature a big, black ape who falls in love with a willowy white woman. The unspoken fear about black-white sexual relations has been remarked on by film historians and cultural critics ever since. The 1933 original stoked anxieties about black male hypersexuality. Kong snatches Ann Darrow up and makes off with her as she screams in horror. And the film's supposedly African natives--who offer the heroine up to the giant ape--came from what some critics called the ooga-booga(ph) school of thespian arts. Newsday columnist Jim Pinkerton says the 2005 "Kong", starring a dewy, blond Naomi Watts, shows the story line hasn't evolved all that much."

"It is difficult to classify the characteristics of the Goof into columns of the physical and mental, because they interweave, reflect and enhance one another. Therefore, it will probably be best to mention everything all at once. Think of the Goof as a composite of an everlasting optimist, a gullible Good Samaritan, a halfwit and a shiftless, good-natured hick."

"You're not ordinary, you're French!"

"You join us live at the Berlin Olympics on "Grandstand" in 1936 on this pleasant summer morning in Nazi Germany. Everyone's here. Hitler's in his box, Jesse Owens just waved to him. He doesn't like that."

"Well at this stage of the show, some of my viewers maybe thinking "Alan, You're a liar! You promised that this show would be hot and now you're chatting to three senior citizens." But if I said I am now going to jump into a TARDIS, go back in time and recreate the Berlin Olympics with these three old women, you'd say "Alan, that is hot, we were wrong earlier.""

"As far as I'm concerned, Neil Diamond will always be King of the Jews."

"I'm not retreating, Pat's tugging me off."

"Let's not get into who hit who or, you know, who may have deserved it."

"Do I look like I suffer from panic attacks? I've had one panic attack in a car wash. It was a perfect storm of no sleep, no wife, and angry brushes whirring towards me. By the time the giant hair dryer came on, I was in the footwell."

"Lynn, get rid of her. She's a drunk racist. I'll tolerate one, but not both."

"That was soft rock cocaine enthusiasts, Fleetwood Mac."

"Never, never criticise Muslims. Only Christians. And Jews a little bit."

"Later we'll be taking dedications for anyone wrongly turned down for planning permission. Also, I'll be asking: Which is the worst monger? Fish, iron, rumour or war?"

"I would've taken it off sooner but I was having a fascinating conversation with the proud father of Norfolk's most sun-tanned child. Just passed his details on to the Social Services."

"Kids like to go to the zoo but the beasts I like to look at are made of zinc galvanised steel - they're cars."

"But not too informal; it's not Nigel Pinsent's "In Depth", but neither is it Wally Banter's Junk-Box"

"I realised I had nothing to worry about. The man was a perfect gentleman. But if you told me 25 years ago that I would be talking about rigid inflatable hulls with Dale Winton I would probably have spat at you."

"Lynn! I've pierced my foot on a spike!"

"I can read you like a book, and not a very good book. Especially no Bravo Two Zero by Andy McNabb, which actually improves with every read."

"Not my words Carol, the words of Top Gear magazine!"

"Right, I'll tell you an anecdote. In 1974 I was catching the London train from Crewe station. It was very crowded; I found myself in a last-minute rush for the one remaining seat beside a tall, good-looking man with collar-length hair, it was the seventies; buckaroo! I looked up and saw it was none other than Peter Purves, it was the height of his Blue Peter career. He said, "You jammy bastard" and quick as a flash, I replied, "Don't be blue, Peter!" Needless to say, I had the last laugh, now fuck off!"

"Britain has some of the safest roads in Europe. But this isn't Britain...This is der Autobahn!"

"I've got a girlfriend, she's only 33. Cashback!"

"I’m 47, my girlfriend's 33; she's 14 years younger than me: Back of the net!"

"Jurassic Park!"

"(talking to representative of a farming union): If you see a lovely field with a family having a picnic, and there's a nice pond in it, you fill in the pond with concrete, you plough the family into the field, you blow up the tree, and use the leaves to make a dress for your wife who's also your brother."

"Let battle commence!"

"That was Big Yellow Taxi by Joni Mitchell, a song in which Joni complains they 'Paved paradise to put up a parking lot', a measure which actually would have alleviated traffic congestion on the outskirts of paradise, something which Joni singularly fails to point out, perhaps because it doesn't quite fit in with her blinkered view of the world. Nevertheless, nice song."

"Remember, lives matter."

"Could someone clear that shit away, please? It's just, it's in my picture. People may associate it with me."

"Let me tell you something about the Titanic, people forget, people forget that on the Titanic's maiden voyage there were over 1000 miles of uneventful, very pleasurable cruising before it hit the iceberg!"

"Smell my cheese, you mother!"

"mmmmm Ladyboys."

"(commenting on random clips of football/soccer matches in a build up to the upcoming 1994 FIFA World Cup): Shit! Did you see that!? He must have a foot like a traction engine. Striker! And that, was a gooooooal! The proof is in the pudding and in this case the pudding, is a football..."

"Monkey Tennis?"

"A detective series based in Norwich called "Swallow". Swallow is a detective who tackles vandalism. Bit of a maverick, not afraid to break the law if he thinks it's necessary. He's not a criminal, you know, but he will, perhaps, travel 80mph on the motorway if, for example, he wants to get somewhere quickly...Think about it. No one had heard of Oxford before Inspector Morse."

"Would you like me to lap dance for you?"

"Two fat ladies, 88! Not that you'd find these ladies at a bingo hall, of course... they're altogether a higher class of fat lady."

"You know what this room says to me? Aqua. Which is French for water. It's like being inside an enormous Fox's Glacier Mint, which again, to me, is a bonus."

"My face was designed as a leisure accessory."

"You're sacked! You are sacked, I'm sacking you. In fact, it's happened, it's over, it's already happened, you are a sacked man. You've been sacked. You're the subject of a sacking, I want you off these premises in 10 minutes. Knowing me, Alan Partridge, sacking you, Glenn Ponder. A-ha!"

"Throughout the questions I will be remaining impartial at all times. I will remain Pontius Partridge."

"Darth Vader—only you can be so bold."

"I know. Somehow…I've always known."