"“You’re taking the world awfully personally. Didn’t Chains ever tell you about the Golden Theological Principle?” “The what?” “The single congruent aspect of every known religion. The one shared, universal assumption about the human condition.” “What is it?” “He said that life boils down to standing in line to get shit dropped on your head. Everyone’s got a place in the queue, you can’t get out of it, and just when you start to congratulate yourself on surviving your dose of shit, you discover that the line is actually circular.” “I’m just old enough to find that distressingly accurate.” “You see? It’s universal,” said Locke."

"“Remember when I told you, for the first time? You nearly threw me off the roof—” “I thought you deserved it. You know, it’s an opinion I return to from time to time, whether or not a roof is available.” “You’re a difficult woman, Sabetha. But then, difficult women are the only ones worth falling in love with.” “How would you know? It’s not like you’ve ever been after anyone else—” “That part’s easy. I started with the most difficult woman possible, so there was never any need to look any further.” “You’re trying to be charming.” She squeezed his hand once, then pulled away. “I choose not to be entirely charmed, Locke Lamora.” “Not entirely?” “Not entirely. Not yet.”"

"Maybe this is going to complicate the hell out of things. So what? You’re the complication I want more than anything else. You’re my favorite complication."

"Push your luck, gorgeous, and eventually luck pushes back."

"“Why the hell are you here?” “A matter of conscience.” “Really?” said Locke. “Yours? You keep alluding to its existence. Somehow I’m not convinced.”"

"“My responsibility was to tell you the truth, not wrap you in swaddling clothes.” She raised her hood again, half-veiling her face in shadow. “Nor protect you from your own badly aimed temper.”"

"“We were sent here to learn from you!” “You want a lesson, boy? If you find yourself being born, climb back in as quick as you can, because life’s a bottomless feast of shit.”"

"I’m not without my sympathies, Lamora. They just don’t necessarily reside with you."

"“Nikoros, your job this afternoon is to say yes to anything that comes out of my mouth. The more you rehearse this, the sooner it’ll become a smooth mechanical process allowing no time for painful reflection. Can you practice for me?” “Yes.” “You’re a natural.”"

"“I never would’ve thought—“ “Don’t think,” said Locke. “I’m paid to do that for you.”"

"“Let’s be obvious. Me brute, you weasel.” “Agreed. You brute, me charming mastermind.”"

"Nobody admires anyone else without qualification. If they do they’re after an image, not a person."

"“You’re trying to be charming again,” she said softly, “but I do not choose to be charmed, Locke Lamora.”"

"“That’s not worth worrying about. If pressed I’ll use the never-fail universal apology.” “What’s the n-never-fail universal apology?” “‘I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.’”"

"Locke put his head in his hands and sighed. “I don’t expect life to make sense,” he said after a few moments, “but it would certainly be pleasant if it would stop kicking us in the balls.”"

"They’ll be fine, and wiser for the experience. Young minds are brittle. Oldsters, now, we’ve had some disappointments. We’ve set aside the notion that we’re the center of the universe, so our minds bend with strain instead of meeting it head-on."

"“I never even liked cats all that much.” “Surely you realize,” said Patience, “that cats are no great respecters of human opinion.”"

"“You need money that badly?” “As a tool, certainly. Its application is simple and universally effective.”"

"Most of us find it starkly ludicrous that the height of all possible ambition, to the ungifted, must be to drape oneself in crowns and robes."

"“You know, believe it or not, ‘the gods will provide’ is not a fucking plan, lad. You’ve got one hell of a talent for improvisation, but when that lets you down, it lets you down hard.”"

"Damn it, when will you learn that refusing to admit you’ve lost isn’t the same as winning?"

"“There were difficulties.” “Oh,” she said, “so you’re the man whose life develops complications! I’ve so longed to meet you; the rest of us here in this world have it much too easy, I’m afraid.”"

"Gods, all this maneuvering for moral advantage. You’d think we were married."

"“You rule the Bondsmagi,” said Locke, incredulously. “Rule is too strong a term. We do occasionally manage to avert total chaos.”"

"The sun is up, and all that money out there won’t steal itself."

"I’m going to give you a thorough examination. This may cause some discomfort, but don’t complain. I won’t be listening."

"“Thank you very much, sir,” said Beth with nothing resembling actual gratitude."

"People die when they get hanged. It’s why they hang them!"

"“Government affairs are a bit beyond our experience,” said Jean. “Nonsense. You’ll feel right at home. What is government but theft by consent? You’ll be moving in a society of kindred spirits.”"

"Refusal noted and cordially declined."

"I find it best to make corpses of complications."

"I’m losing my taste for subtlety as fast as I’m depleting my supply."

"Only gods-damned fools die for lines drawn on maps."

"It had the expression common to all kittens, that of a tyrant in the becoming."

"”Oh, gods,” he cried. ”Oh, gods protect me! It’s you!” “Of course it’s me,“ said Locke. “You just don’t know who the hell I am yet.“"

"You’re ten pints of crazy in a one-pint glass."

"”Is this man, ah, senile?” ”He’s absolutely competent,” she answered coldly. ”I assure you I am,” roared Cordo. Anger changed his countenance utterly. ”And I will not be put off from business by assassins in my own bedroom! Now, you will either kill me immediately or negotiate the price of my release!”"

"“What happened wasn’t fair!” “Fair? You mean to claim with a straight face that you buy into that heresy, my boy?”"

"“We met five years ago.“ Jean scratched his beard. “On a sea voyage. We became business partners out of sheer boredom. Since then we‘ve been inseparable.“ “Except that my plan calls for me to be plotting your death.“ “Yes, but I don‘t know that, do I? Boon companion! I suspect nothing.“ “Chump! I can hardly wait to see you get yours!“"

"Time went by with all the speed of a sleepless night."

"By rights he was still outrunning his age, still ahead of most men nearing threescore years, but he knew deep in his heart that there would never be any way of running fast enough."

"As for history, we are living in its ruins. And as for biographies, we are living with the consequences of all the decisions ever made in them. I tend not to read them for pleasure. It‘s not unlike carefully scrutinizing the map when one has already reached the destination."

"“Yes, I like it a lot, it’s all worth having to bathe, even!” “Hmmm,” said Chains. “You live long enough for your stones to drop, then tell me if bathing is really such a hardship when the young women around you have bosoms that are more than theoretical.” “What? When my what?” “Never mind. That subject will be sufficiently confusing in its own good time.”"

"Master Kosta...What a pleasure! Selendri tells me you’ve expressed an interest in getting killed."

"“I say again, impossible.” “And I correct you again. Difficult. ‘Difficult’ and ‘impossible’ are cousins often mistaken for one another, with very little in common.”"

"I don’t want you to agree with me; I want you to use your misplaced acorn of a brain before the squirrel comes looking for it again."

"Some mysteries are better off with their throats slit."

"The trouble with creating military dictators, Locke reflected, was getting rid of them after the immediate crisis was past."

"“You needed a bath,“ Jean interrupted. “You were covered in self-pity.“"

"“When I get this door open, you’re dead, Jean!“ “When you get that door open? I look forward to many long years of life, then.“"