"I wish I could hate you. I want to hate you. I try to hate you. It would be so much easier if I did hate you. Sometimes I think I do hate you and then I see you and I-" "And you what?" "What do you think? Why should I tell you everything about how I feel when you never tell me anything. It's like banging my head on a wall, except at least if I were banging my head on a wall, I'd be able to make myself stop."

""Nothing," chorused Clary, Simon, Alec, Magnus, and Jace, in a surprising and probably never-to-be-repeated unison."

"With Jace, you don't really get to choose your insulting nickname."

"If you're calling me up just to chat, mundane, you must be lonelier than I thought."

"What they had between them was still as fragile as a flickering candle flame, as delicate as eggshell - and he knew that if it shattered, if he somehow let it break and be destroyed, something inside him would shatter too, something that could never be fixed."

"Here, I'll practice on you. Mom. I have something to tell you. I'm undead. Now, I know you may have some preconceived notions about the undead. I know you may not be comfortable with the idea of me being undead. But I'm here to tell you that the undead are just like you and me. Well, okay. Possibly more like me than you."

"Because I foresee many romantic picnics in our future. You, drinking a virgin pina colada. Me, drinking the blood of a virgin."

"I keep thinking about blood. I dream about it. Wake up thinking about it. Pretty soon I'll be writing morbid emo poetry about it."

"How to Come Out to Your Parents," she read out loud. "LUKE. Don't be ridiculous. Simon's not gay, he's a vampire."

"It was hard not to laugh. Determination like that in a ten-year-old is something to see. He was like a pit bull." "If pit bulls wore glasses and were allergic to ragweed."

"Look. In all the years I've known him, there's always been exactly one place Simon wanted to be, and he's always fought like hell to make sure he got there and stayed there." "Where's that?" "Wherever you were."

"Oh, for goodness' sake, is he really waking us up at this ungodly hour just to prove his love to you or something?"

"It's not often you get to see someone drool. Especially with such total abandon. Mouth wide open and everything."

"I guess it's true what they say. There are no straight men in the trenches." "That's atheists, jackass. There are no atheists in the trenches."

"Well, I'm not kissing the mundane. I'd rather stay down here and rot." "Forever? Forever's an awfully long time." "I knew it. You want to kiss me, don't you?"

"Faeries have no sense of humor." "Oh, I wouldn't say that. There's a pixie nightclub downtown called Hot Wings. Not that I have ever been there."

"That does it, I'm going to get you a dictionary for Christmas this year." "Why?" "So you can look up 'fun.' I'm not sure you know what it means."

"Every time I annoy him, he retreats into his No Mundanes Allowed tree house."

"Traded him for Alec," Clary said. "Not permanently." "No," said Jace. "Just for a few hours. Unless I don't come back. In which case, maybe he does get to keep Alec. Think of it as a lease with an option to buy." "Mom and Dad won't be pleased if they find out." "That you freed a possible criminal by trading away your brother to a warlock who looks like a gay Sonic the Hedgehog and dresses like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang?" Simon inquired. "No, probably not."

"Isabelle with her whip and boots and knives would chop anyone who tried to pen her up in a tower into pieces, build a bridge out of the remains, and walk carelessly to freedom, her hair looking fabulous the entire time."

"Never doubt my weaseling abilities, Shadowhunter, for they are epic and memorable in their scope."

""They can't be worse than vampires. And you did all right with them." "Did all right with them? By which I take it you mean we survived?" "Well. . ." "Faeries," Jace went on, as if Simon hadn't spoken, "are the offspring of demons and angels, with the beauty of angels and the viciousness of demons. A vampire might attack you, if you enter its domain, but a faerie could make you dance until you died with your legs ground into stumps, trick you into a midnight swim and drag you screaming underwater until your lungs burst, fill your eyes with faerie dust until you gouged them out at the roots-" "Jace!" Clary snapped."

"Sure. And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour."

"We seem to be trapped in an episode of One Life to Waste. It's all very dull."

"He's quoting Dungeons and Dragons. Ignore him."

"Is standing by the window muttering about blood something he does all the time?" "No, sometimes he sits on the couch and does it."

"I love round tables. They suit me so much better than a square."

"Magnus snapped his fingers again, menacingly. "Get up." "Or you'll be the next one to go up in smoke," said Simon with relish. "There's no need to clarify my finger snap. The implication was clear in the snap itself.""

"We need to talk. All of us. About what we're going to do now." "I was going to watch Project Runway. It's on next."

"Nearly unlimited supernatural power, and all you do is use it to watch reruns. What a waste."

"Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?"

"Yeah, he's terrified I'll tell everyone that he's always really wanted to be a ballerina."

"It was like a bad movie, except he didn't actually twirl his mustache."

"I'm not sure anyone can make Jace do anything. But I think you can remind him that he has something to live for."

"I was trained to be an evil mastermind from a young age. Pulling the wings off flies, poisoning the earth's water supply - I was covering that stuff in kindergarten. I guess we're all just lucky my father faked his own death before he got to the raping and pillaging part of my education, or no one would be safe."

"You see, cuckoos are parasites. They lay their eggs in other birds' nests. When the egg hatches, the baby cuckoo pushes the other baby birds out of the nest. The poor parent birds work themselves to death trying to find enough food to feed the enormous cuckoo child who has murdered their babies and taken their places." "Enormous? Did you just call me fat?" "It was an analogy." "I am not fat."

"Looks like a bite mark. What have you been doing all day, anyway?" "Nothing. I went walking in the park. Tried to clear my head." "And ran into a vampire?" "What? No! I fell." "On your neck?"

"This kind of reminds me of the time my grandfather gave me his old golf clubs." "Yeah, except you never use those." "And I hope you never have to use that."

"However, there is something you should have. Something every Shadowhunter should have." "An obnoxious, arrogant attitude?"

"Maybe I should ask for blessings on my mission against all those who wear white after Labor Day."

"Jace hadn't seemed perturbed, but knowing him, Simon had no doubt he could kill several people in a single morning and go out for waffles afterward."

"A werewolf. Like everyone else here. Except you, and the asshole. And the asshole's sister."

"I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."

"Then again, it was Jace. He'd pick a fight with a Mack truck if the urge took him."

"I don't see anything you need protecting from here," said the boy. "Except some bad decor and a possible mold problem. But you can usually clear that up with bleach."

"I'm pure at heart. It repels the dirt."

"I'll just have them change the entry in the demonology textbook from 'almost extinct' to 'not extinct enough for Alec. He prefers his monsters really, really extinct.' Will that make you happy?"

"It's been so long that I think I was unsettled by the idea of feeling like I belonged anywhere. But you made me feel like I belong."

"Do you think it was a coincidence?" "Do I think what was a coincidence?" "That we wound up in Pandemonium the same night that Jace and the others just happened to be there, pursuing a demon? The night before Valentine came for my mother?" Simon shook his head. "I don't believe in coincidences." "Neither do I." "But I have to admit, coincidence or not, it turned out to be a fortuitous occurrence."

"Was it weird hearing from Jace? I mean, since you found out . . ." "Yes? Since I found out what? That he's a killer transvestite who molests cats?" "No wonder that cat of his hates everyone."