"I mean, listen, I know it might sound a little corny, maybe even a little femme, but I find something so resplendent in the simplicity of Nicholas Sparks' writing, you know what I mean? [Looks at Chris's completely feminine Christmas sweater] Nice outfit, by the way. Rock and roll."

"Mr. Palamino: How did you lose all that weight? Like that retard from Subway?"

"Clark: [about Chris and Jamie] Are you guys on the same menstrual cycle yet, or what?"

"You’ll always be fat to me, Chris!"

"[to Chris] You and I are gonna be the greatest musical manager team since Jessica Simpson and her father only you and I get to "mreow" and they can't, 'cause it's illegal. I looked it up."

"Wait a minute, am I being Punk'D? Oh my god! Ashton, you really got me! Ha Ha! Ashton! Ashton?"

"Some friends are just friends. Others you get to see naked."

"Raise your hand if your brother's a homo!"

"Christopher Marquette - Mike Brander"

"So that's why she went with Dusty. She wants a sensitive guy... more like the old me. Well, if she wants Mr. Rogers, then I'm going to show her the biggest pussy she's ever seen."

"[singing and playing guitar] Forgiveness, is more than saying sorry. To forgive is divine. So let's have a glass of wine. And have make-up sex until the end of time, time, time, time, timmmmmmeee! Time."

"Georges Flamant - Mr. Bigey"

"Patrick Auffay - René"

"Daniel Couturier - Betrand Mauricet"

"Guy Decomble - 'Petite Feuille', the French teacher"

"Albert Rémy - Julien Doinel"

"Every time I cried, my father would imitate me on his fiddle, just to drive me nuts. One day I got fed up and I knocked him out."

"[to Antoine about another boy in the reformatory] He escaped a week ago, but they got him. Around here to escape is bad enough, but getting caught is worse."

"If she drops her pen, pick it up, but don't look at her legs. Or else it will be on your record."

"Doinel, if your paper is first today, it's because I've decided to give the results beginning with the worst."

"I'm an unstable psychotic individual with perverted tendencies."

"I have no socks left around these holes."

"Now, Doinel, go get some water and erase those insanities, or I'll make you lick the wall, my friend."

"Jean-Pierre Léaud - Antoine Doinel"

"Claire Maurier - Gilberte Doinel - la mère d'Antoine"

"Regina Baff - Asheley Brooks"