"Guys, are you coming? Are you—? Great. Okay, fine. I guess tonight the lone wolf hunts alone. [hurts his crotch while trying to start up his motorcycle] Ow! Testicles rising...can't breathe...can't breathe."

"Well here I thought I was with a couple of real superheroes, the Shoveller and the Blue Raja! But really, it's Lazy Boy and... and... the recliner! Lazy Boy and the Recliner!"

"People who don't close their mouths when they chew make me... furious!"

"[when asked by a reporter what his name and power is] "Hi, my name's Roy, and I'm in a super amount of pain right now.""

"I must have ripped the Q section out of my dictionary, 'cause I don't know the meaning of the word 'quit'!"

"I just wanted to say that I had a really great time tonight, and you were really nice to me, and I would love to, uh, take you out some time. But if I don't call you I just want you to know that it's because I'm dead."

"Do you think there's a really angry way I could say I'm sorry?"

"I guess from now on I ride in a wolfpack of one."

"I don't need a compass to know which way the wind shines!"

"Do yourself a favor and don't punch my clock 'cause I'm a Pantera's box you do not wanna open!"

"In my opinion, which used to matter around here, we shouldn't be flinging new memberships at every guy who puts together a pair of matching gloves and boots."

"Ooh — Mama Pajama! What kind of crazy-man blows up a crazy-house?"

"I guess from now on I ride in a wolf pack...of one."

"I guess tonight the lone wolf hunts... alone."

"Well, I am a ticking time bomb of fury."

"Okay, let's all be little automaton droids and believe everything we hear on TV."

"I will keep dreaming! I will keep dreaming, my friend! And when I wake up you better hope...you better hope you're... asleep!"

"Don't mess with the volcano, my man, 'cause I will go Pompeii on your... butt."

"I don't make anything that's deadly."

""No, no. I don't live here. I'm just here for the ladies." (at a nursing home)"

"Yes, of course, you may absolutely bring za brewskies."

""It is so easy to get the better of people when they care about each other — which is why evil will always have the edge."

"A fish-fork is no match for my machine!"

"I have created a beautiful machine that is going to encourage our fellow citizens to share my vision of the future! Can you dig it?"

"Tonight I am going to do to Champion City what I have done to its greatest superhero — und there will still be time to go up, get down... und boogie!"

"When the clock strikes twelve... cuckoo, cuckoo... you will be dead. And my city will be given a new state of mind."

"Hello, Champion City. Daddy... is home!"

"To learn my teachings, I must first teach you how to learn."

"When you care for what is on the outside, what is inside cares for you."

"Sometimes, the true hero is the one with the courage to run away."

"We are number one! All others are number two, or lower."

"Do not go there, my son! When you doubt your powers, you give power to your doubts."

"Casanova will have many weapons. To defeat him we will need to have more than forks and flatulence."

"He who questions training only trains himself at asking questions."

"When you can balance a tack hammer on your head, you will head off your foes with a balanced attack."

"Learn to hide your strikes from your opponent and you'll more easily strike his hide."

"You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums."

"You must be like the wolf pack... not like the six-pack."

"For one thing that goes wrong, a hundred things go right. Do you know what I spend my time doing? I sleep two or three hours a night. There's no sex and drugs for Ian, David. Do you know what I do? I find lost luggage. I locate mandolin strings in the middle of Austin. I prise the rent out of the local Hebrews. That's what I do."

"Rob Reiner - Marty DiBergi"

"And you my love, won't you take my hand? We'll go back in time, to that mystic land. Where the dew drops cry and the cats meow. I will take you there, I will show you how."

"You're sweet but you're just four feet, And you still got your baby teeth. You're too young and I'm too well hung, But tonight I'm gonna rock you."

"The looser the waistband, the deeper the quicksand."

"My baby fits me like a flesh tuxedo. I love to sink her with my pink torpedo! Big bottom, big bottom, Talk about bum-cakes... my girl's got 'em. Big bottom, drive me out of my mind. How can I leave this... behind?"

"May I start by saying how thrilled we are to have you here. We are such fans of your music and all of your records. I'm not speaking of yours personally, but the whole genre of the rock and roll."

"Yeah, listen, we'd love to stand around and chat, but we've gotta... sit down in the lobby and wait for the limo."

"Certainly, in the topsy-turvy world of heavy rock, having a good solid piece of wood in your hand is often useful."