Fat Albert (film)

"I'm Fat Albert."

"I don't have problems. I solve problems."

"I can't take my sweater off...because, uh, I don't know what's underneath."

"Hey! Hey! Hey. Let go my legs. Hey let go my legs. I got to help these people. Wow, look at that guy. Ohh, look at this… Yeah, you can’t tell me he doesn’t need my help. Check out that lady over there. Do I detect tears? Eh, you in the back. Where are you goin’? It’s not over. You gotta watch the end credits."

"(to Fat Albert and the Gang) Okay, other people can see you, too. That's good. I think."

"This cannot be happening. I'm losing my mind. Yeah, that's it."

"(repeated line) I do not have a problem."

"I don't have friends because I don't want friends."

"Okay, Daddy and I are gonna have to have a long talk. I don't know how, but I'm gonna tell him that we need a gate. Some kind of guard or screen to put over the television set so nobody can get out. Okay."

"There's no way I'm letting that fat kid get over on Lauri."

"You haven't seen the last of me, fat man! Fat, fat, fat, fat!"

"Arthur! Learn the handshake!"

"Listen up, everybody! This fat fool is not what he appears to be!"

"Aren't you the hip-hop fool?"

"(repeated line) Mush Mouth thinks/says/wants to know (then clarifies whatever was spoken)"

"Don't call me Old Weird Harold anymore. I'm Air Hal'd now."

"You watch your mouth!"

"[repeated line]: (hits or scratches head) I am so confused!"

"I have no face."

"[after revealing his face]: I do? I do! I have a nice face!"

"I'm a party animal!"

"(repeated line when he cuts Bucky and Dumb Donald off) Guys, guys!"

"(repeated line to Dumb Donald) I know you don't know. I wasn't talkin' to you!"

"Guys, I see...cheerleaders."

"(to Reggie) Man, you're like school on Saturday...no class."

"Yeah, but you're still Bucky."

"That's our theme song. You guys can't sing it!"

"Those guys, Albert's friends...they're very strange. I think they could be some kind of a cult."

"Doris, no one came out of our television set."

"Doris, why are you acting like such a loser? You're not a loser."

"(repeated line) Everytime someone tells me they care about me, they wind up leaving me."

"Arthur: Yo! Nobody makes a fool out of Reggie except for Reggie."

"Store Clerk: I know big, and you my friend are big."

"Danielle: He better not be doing this again!"

"(Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids has just ended because of breaking news)"

"Doris: No! You missed it *again.*"

"Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey. We can make it another day."

"Bill: How do you know? Have you ever faded before?"

"Fat Albert: We'll be fine."

"Bill: You don't care if we're fine! All you care about is staying here with Lauri!"

"Fat Albert: Lauri is important to me. Maybe it's time I started caring about myself."

"Bill: I don't even know who you are anymore!"

"Fat Albert: Hey, hey, hey! I said I'm gonna stay!"

"Bill: Hey, hey, *hey*! Friends don't let friends fade away!"

"Fat Albert: Don't use my lines on me. Besides, I haven't solved Doris' problem yet."

"Doris: But I don't *have* a problem!"

"Fat Albert: Yes, you *do*!"

"Doris: *No,* I *don't*!"

"Fat Albert: You think I came out of the TV just for you to tell me you don't have a problem?"

"(repeated line) Hey, hey, hey!"