"[To the crowd] Space isn't 500 miles. It's not. It's so much bigger than we could imagine. There is billions of galaxies, and each galaxy has billions of stars! Next to that, our planet is just -- [Pause] Excuse me. [Leaves the Planetarium]"

"[To Grawl] I know what you are afraid of... and it is not Chuck. It's not monsters or, or aliens. it's the unknown. I spent my whole life running from it. And I think, maybe, you have, too. But, I'm telling you. The unknown isn't something to be afraid of. It can be your best friend. And just when you think that it means the end of everything you know, it's really... just the beginning."

"[To soldiers & Kipple as Base 9 is about to blow] Wh-Wh-What are you looking at?! RUUUUUUN!!"

"[He steps on a rubber duck] What the...? A duck? [sees Neera and Lem's parents staring at him, and gulps]"

"[Thinking of a lie to convince Lem to help] But I suppose you could leave me stranded. My wife will have to support the kids. 11. We have eleven kids, always hungry. Yeah, yeah, but hey, they'll get by without a father. The important thing here is for you to avoid a little trouble."

"[To Rover] Hey! A planet full of aliens, and you sent back pictures of rocks?! Bad boy! Bad boy!"

"[Giving advice on love] Why do chicks dig me? Because I'm handsome? Because I'm an astronaut? Yes and yes. But, it's also because of Chuck Baker's three steps to romance: Spot your prey. Make your move. Show no mercy. [suavely] Hey, baby. I saw you across the bar. Are sparks flying or is this place on fire."

"[A tank pointing at him and Lem] We better RUN!!"

"[In a room with elderly women holding a tea party; to Lem] Let the doctor handle this. [Clears throat] Ladies, who wants to meet an astronaut? [Ladies throws cups at him] Ladies, one at a time! I'm on Facebook."

"[About the universe] There's billions of galaxies, and in each galaxy there's billions of stars. Next to that, kid, our planets are just... dust in the wind."

"[To Lem, while after pretending to release him from his control] Kid, I'm going down, anyway. There's no need for you to come with me. Thanks... for everything."

"[To Grawl after the chain reaction] You're not thinking all of this is my fault, right?"

"[The teens come to rescue him] Guys! This is so Luke Skywalker! [Noticing Neera standing next to Lem] Uh, by the way. You're not brother and sister, right?"

"[Last line] You're a great planet and your 50s are fine, but gimme a call when you get to the 60s… 'cause that's gonna be fun!"

"Totally ridiculous. Brains for dinner? Come on. Brains are for breakfast with cereal and milk. Dinner's organs and eyeballs."

"I love fake-alien-poop day."

"[Enters Lem's room] I saw the alien last night. I am so in. I got this guy wrapped around my little finger. Let me tell you, this alien's not so scary. [Sees Chuck] AAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!"

"[Rover curls up on him] Awww. It's kind of cute, the way he does that."

"[To Chuck] If you have to do a number one... [places newspapers down on the floor] use these papers. If it's a number two, go outside... and if it's number three... I can't help you."

"[To Rover, after he ran away] Don't you ever run off like that! What if they took you to the pound? Where can I find you?"

"[Rover gets caught] Rover? NOOOOOOOO!"

"[Rover's taken into the Comic Book Store; sobbing] Why did he do it? I was going to teach him to beg and everything!"

"My little Rovie! [Sobs] I can still hear his wagging little antenna! [Rover wags his antenna and makes a sound] Rover? [Turns around] Rover?! ROVER, ROVER!! YOU'RE ALIVE!!"

"[Discovering Base 9] This is amazing! I was right again! Woo-hoo!!"

"[Sees a naked Chuck] That is a funny place for his antenna."

"[Repeated line] Diabolical!"

"[Interrogating Rover] Where's your MASTER?! TALK!! [Rover leaks oil out]"

"All right, lets get these aliens to Base 9. [Crowd gasps] Not that it exists. [Clears throat]"

"HOLD YOUR FIRREEEEE!!!"

"Sick, young lady is helping the enemy of your world! Sick is befriending a creature that's so completely... different! Sick is... WELL, LOOK! IT'S RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!! I'm sorry, Professor. It is too dangerous to let the alien live another minute."

"Aliens are quite like us, except they have two sets of teeth, hyperdermic fingertips, and hypnotic eyes to control our brains and turn us into zombies and destroy our world."

"Remember, anyone caught helping the aliens will go to jail!"

"[Investigating Chuck's head] What a remarkable brain you must have. An incision here and here, it should pop right out!"

"This boy is free!"

"[To Grawl] You clown! He's here to take over our minds, even yours."

"Something strange is coming to their planet... US!"

"Right stuff. Wrong planet."

"There's no Space like home."

"Dwayne Johnson - Chuck"

"Jessica Biel - Neera"

"Justin Long - Lem / Rover"

"Gary Oldman - General Grawl"

"Seann William Scott - Skiff"

"John Cleese - Professor Kipple"

"I'm the new guy around here and I want to make friends, so I'll say this to you and we'll start fresh. If you don't like my jokes, don't laugh. If you have a medical opinion, then please speak up and speak up loud. But if you ever again tell me or my surgical staff that we're going to lose a patient, I'm gonna take out your lungs with a fuckin' ice cream scoop. Do you understand me?"

"Brenda Strong – Claudia, Riley's secretary"

"Gwyneth Paltrow – Paula Bell"

"Debrah Farentino – Nurse Tanya"

"Tobin Bell – Earl Leemus"

"George C. Scott – Dr. Martin Kessler"