"I can remember a long time ago. Long before my birth. I was waiting with those who were not yet born. When we're not born yet, we know everything. Everything that will happen. When it's your turn, the Angels of Oblivion place a finger on your mouth. "Shh..." It leaves a mark on the upper lip. It means that you have forgotten everything. But the angels missed me."

"I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid I haven't been alive enough. It should be written on every school room blackboard; 'life is a playground or nothing.'"

"I always liked fish. I never thought that one day they would like me too. [narrating while in his car underwater]"

"Megan Boone - Megan"

"Kevin Tighe - Ben Foley"

"Jensen Ackles - Tom Hanniger"

"Jaime King - Sarah Palmer"

"Are you ready for your heart to be broken? He's going to do it."

"Kerr Smith - Axel Palmer"

"Nothing says 'date movie' like a 3D ride to hell!"

"You can't get closer than this."

"Betsy Rue - Irene"

"He's gonna break your heart."

"No, listen to me! The words that Megan wrote in her Valentine, "Be mine forever"? Those are the same words written in blood above her dead body. Isn't that right, Axel?"

"[after Deputy Martin stops him from fighting Tom.] That's great. That's fucking wonderful... Fuck!"

"Axel, I know you hate me and I don't really give a shit, but this is your wife. Stop lying to her!"

"[to Tom] I'm going to rip your fucking head off."

"On January 16, Get Your Heart Broken."

"Edi Gathegi - Deputy Martin"

"Tom Atkins - Sheriff Jim Burke"

"Boyd Banks – Jay (Osama)"

"Tony Burgess – Tony (Lawrence)"

"Stephen McHattie – Grant Mazzy"

"Lisa Houle – Sydney Briar"

"Shut up or die."

"Georgina Reilly – Laurel-Ann Drummond"

"We're not talking, I'm drunk. This is how my last relationship ended."

"Oh, God. You're gonna eat me soon, aren't you?"

"Hrant Alianak – Dr. Mendez"

"Words lose their meaning when you repeat them."

"Mrs. French's cat is missing. The signs are posted all over town. "Have you seen Honey?" We've all seen the posters, but nobody has seen Honey the cat. Nobody. Until last Thursday morning, when Miss Colette Piscine swerved her car to miss Honey the cat as she drove across a bridge. Well this bridge, now slightly damaged, is a bit of a local treasure and even has its own fancy name; Pont de Flaque. Now Collette, that sounds like Culotte. That's Panty in French. And Piscine means Pool. Panty pool. Flaque also means pool in French, so Colete Piscine, in French Panty Pool, drives over the Pont de Flaque, the Pont de Pool if you will, to avoid hitting Mrs. French's cat that has been missing in Pontypool. Pontypool. Pontypool. Panty pool. Pont de Flaque. What does it mean? Well, Norman Mailer, he had an interesting theory that he used to explain the strange coincidences in the aftermath of the JFK assassination. In the wake of huge events, after them and before them, physical details they spasm for a moment; they sort of unlock and when they come back into focus they suddenly coincide in a weird way. Street names and birthdates and middle names, all kind of superfluous things appear related to eachother. It's a ripple effect. So, what does it mean? Well... it means something's going to happen. Something big. But then, something's always about to happen."

"It's not the end of the world, it's just the end of the day."

"Rick Roberts – Ken Loney"

"Jessica Biel - Neera"

"Justin Long - Lem / Rover"

"[Giving advice on love] Why do chicks dig me? Because I'm handsome? Because I'm an astronaut? Yes and yes. But, it's also because of Chuck Baker's three steps to romance: Spot your prey. Make your move. Show no mercy. [suavely] Hey, baby. I saw you across the bar. Are sparks flying or is this place on fire."

"[A tank pointing at him and Lem] We better RUN!!"

"Dwayne Johnson - Chuck"

"Gary Oldman - General Grawl"

"[To Rover] Hey! A planet full of aliens, and you sent back pictures of rocks?! Bad boy! Bad boy!"

"Something strange is coming to their planet... US!"

"Right stuff. Wrong planet."

"[Taking off his helmet] I can breathe, [realizes the air is breathable] I can breathe!"

"Seann William Scott - Skiff"

"[Thinking of a lie to convince Lem to help] But I suppose you could leave me stranded. My wife will have to support the kids. 11. We have eleven kids, always hungry. Yeah, yeah, but hey, they'll get by without a father. The important thing here is for you to avoid a little trouble."

"[In a room with elderly women holding a tea party; to Lem] Let the doctor handle this. [Clears throat] Ladies, who wants to meet an astronaut? [Ladies throws cups at him] Ladies, one at a time! I'm on Facebook."

"There's no Space like home."

"[He steps on a rubber duck] What the...? A duck? [sees Neera and Lem's parents staring at him, and gulps]"

"Remember, anyone caught helping the aliens will go to jail!"