American Films

"Aaron Michael Metchik — Ithicles"

"Keith David — Apollo"

"Kathleen Freeman — the Heavyset Woman"

"Corey Burton — Burnt Man, End-of-the World Man, Tour Bus Guide, and Stratos"

"Mary Kay Bergman — Earthquake Lady, Nymphs, Teenage Girls, and Athena"

"Wayne Knight — Demetrius"

"Jim Cummings — Nessus, Tall Theban, Elderly Theban, and Pyros"

"Paul Shaffer — Hermes"

"Paddi Edwards — Atropos"

"Carole Shelley — Lachesis"

"Amanda Plummer — Clotho"

"Barbara Barrie — Alcmene"

"Hal Holbrook — Ampgitryon"

"Patrick Pinney — Cyclops, Lythos"

"Roz Ryan — Thalia"

"LaChanze — Terpsichore"

"Cheryl Freeman — Melpomene"

"Vanéese Y. Thomas — Clio"

"Lillias White — Calliope"

"Samantha Eggar — Hera"

"Rip Torn — Zeus"

"Matt Frewer — Panic"

"Bobcat Goldthwait — Pain"

"Frank Welker — Pegasus"

"Susan Egan — Meg"

"James Woods — Hades"

"Danny DeVito — Phil"

"Tate Donovan — Hercules"

"You can run but you can't Hydra!"

"Who puts the GLAD in GLADIATOR?"

"Zero to Hero!"

"Happy IV of July!"

"A Comedy of Epic Proportions"

"For a true hero isn't measured by the size of his strength, but by the strength of his heart. Now, at last, my son, you can come home."

"SOUND THE ALARM! LAUNCH AN IMMEDIATE COUNTERATTACK! GO, GO!"

"I'm afraid being famous is not the same as being a true hero."

"Hercules, if you can prove yourself a true hero on Earth, your godhood will be restored."

"Hey, you wanted answers, and by thunder, you're old enough to know the truth."

"You ought to slow down, you'll work yourself to death. HA! Work yourself to death!"

"No, no, no, no, no, kid, giving up is for rookies. I came back because I'm not quitting on ya. I'm willing to go the distance. How about you?"

"[about Meg] SHE'S A FRAUD! She's been playing you for a sap!"

"[after Hercules defeats the Hydra] YA DID IT, KID! YA DID IT, YOU WON BY A LANDSLIDE!"

"[as Hercules fights the Hydra, whose heads multiply as they are cut off] WILL YOU FORGET THE HEAD-SLICING THING?!?!"

"You... I got your heel RIGHT HERE! [tackles Tall Thebian with his head, throws punches] I'll wipe that stupid grin off your face! You- [bites Tall Thebian's butt]"

"[after being called a goat-man] Watch it, pal."

"One town, a million troubles. The one and only Thebes. The Big Olive itself. If you can make it there, you can make it anywhere."

"I trained all those would-be heroes. Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus. A lot of "yusses". And every single one of those bums let me down flatter than a discus. None of them could go the distance. [Looking at a statue of a soldier in armor] And then there was Achilles. Now there was a guy who had it all; the build, the foot-speed. He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on comin'! [pause] BUT THAT FURSLUGGINER HEEL OF HIS! He barely gets nicked there once and kaboom. He's history. Yeah, I had a dream once. I dreamed I would train the greatest hero there ever was. So great the gods would hang a picture of him in the stars for everyone to see. And everyone would say, "That's Phil's boy." That's right...Ah, but dreams are for rookies. A guy can only take so much disappointment."

"[last lines, as the film closes] What do you say? It's happy ending time. Everybody's got a little taste of something but me. I've got nothing. I'm here with nothing. Anybody listening?! It's like I'm- what am I? An echo or something? Hello! Hello! Am I talking to what, hyperspace? Hello, it's me! Nobody listens."

"This is... This is impossible! You, you, you can't be alive! You'd have to be a, a... (Pain and Panic: A god?) Hercules, stop! You can’t do this to me! You can’t- [Hercules punches Hades] Fine. Okay. Listen. Ha! Okay. Well, I deserved that. Herc, Herc, Herc. Can we talk? You're dad; he's the fun guy, right? So maybe you could put in a word with him, and he'd kinda... blow this whole thing off, you know? Meg. Meg, talk to him. Have a little smoochze, and... [Hercules punches him into the river of death] GAAAAAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!!!! [souls go to grab him] Get away from me! Don't touch me! Get your slimy souls off me! Ooh, ah— (Panic: He's not gonna be happy when he gets outta there!; Pain: You mean, if he gets outta there!) Taxi! TAXI! (Panic: If. If is good.) I don't feel so good. I—I'm feeling a little... FLUSHED!"

"Thanks a ton, Wonderboy! But at least I've got one swell consolation prize, a friend of yours who's dying to see me."