First Quote Added
aprile 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Tony Hawks: "Ferrero Rocher - They're the dogs' bollocks!""
"Tony Hawks: "Waitrose - Two for the price of five.""
"Barry Cryer: Wetherspoons - When you just have to get pissed at 7.00am.""
"Barry Cryer: "Tesco ready meals - Horses for courses!""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter! - It's not butter!""
"Barry Cryer: Guantanamo Bay - Made to make your mouth water.""
"John Finnemore: "Fray Bentos - Don't ask, don't tell.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Vodafone - Mos...ubbish...obile...hone...cept...in...country.""
"Miles Jupp: "The Wild Bean Café - You have literally no other option!""
"John Finnemore: "Prosecco - For those special occasions that aren't that special.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Andrex - Shit happens.""
"Barry Cryer: "Durex - In your wallet for years.""
"John Finnemore: "Hull Trains - Oh, doesn't every city have its own trains? Oh, I'm sorry. We do.""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "The French Riviera - Naughty but Nice!""
"Rachel Parris: "Do you remember the twenty-first night of September...?""
"Miles Jupp: "Disneyland - Because if you don't take them, they will never shut up!""
"Tim Brooke-Taylor: "Southern or Northern Rail - We're not happy 'til you're not happy.""
"John Finnemore: "Ryanair - You knew what you were getting into!""
"Jack Dee: "A dreadful habit of young Mart's was lighting his and others' farts...""
"Jack Dee: "Young James thought it would be a lark, to ride upon a great white shark...""
"Barry Cryer: "The Milk Marketing Board - A glass of milk... in every glass.""
"Miles Jupp: "McDonald's - We have toilets!""
"Jack Dee: "A stubborn boy whose name was Norm, flew his kite in a lightning storm...""
"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Mya climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""
"Jack Dee: "A wicked habit of young Bill's, was rifling through his father's pills...""
"Jack Dee: "Daisy Pugh and husband Gus, spiced up their sex life on the bus...""
"Jack Dee: "With stick in hand, naughty Denise approached a peaceful swarm of bees...""
"Jack Dee: "Poor Mrs. Wilhelmina Binns was knackered giving birth to quins...""
"Jack Dee: "Without permission, stupid Jake went skating on a frozen lake...""
"Barry Cryer: "The Noise Abatement Society - ...""
"Jack Dee: "The infant Mike had such bad genes, he lived on top shelf magazines...""
"Jack Dee: "'I see dead people!' claimed young Cole, which made his mother drop her bowl...""
"Jack Dee: "'I think I shall try six', said Fred, 'electric blankets on my bed'...""
"Jack Dee: "A naughty little lad called Dave would hide inside the microwave...""
"Jack Dee: "In spite of warnings, little Stu would taunt the lions in the zoo...""
"Jack Dee: "Young Nigel earned a stern reproof for doing cartwheels on the roof...""
"Jack Dee: "'Do not put', his mum told Ted, 'that plastic bag upon your head'...""
"Jack Dee: "Belinda made her parents vexed for all she ever did was text...""
"Gary Delaney: "Next on BBC Two, Dara Ó Briain is back as the host of the quickfire topical panel show for Chinese cannibals who eat the shy. It's Wok the Meek. ...if you could hear the footsteps going all round the houses to get to that one!""
"Jack Dee: "Though often warned, a boy called Rex still tampered with electric flex...""
"Gary Delaney: "Coming up next, Chris Hemsworth is back in the Marvel crossover that's also a sequel to Frozen - Thaw.""
"Tony Hawks: "Next on ITV a new game show, giving contestants a chance to win an any of an amazing selection of panty liners. That's The Sale of the Sanitary, next.""
"Tony Hawks: "A fantasy epic on BBC now, with a tale spanning multiple worlds, in which a threatening godlike figure suffers several bouts of sexually transmitted infections. That's His Dark Venereals on BBC Three.""
"Jack Dee: "One day a small girl called Sophia climbed right inside the tumble dryer...""
"Jack Dee: "Despite the warnings, naughty Sue would feed the monkeys in the zoo...""
"John Finnemore: "Yellow Pages - In case the internet stops existing.""
"Miles Jupp: "Wake up Maggie, I think I've got something to say to you...""
"Miles Jupp: "Coming up this evening, Ben Fogle takes his fossil hammer to Dorset's Jurassic coast on a hunt for the perfect ammonite. That's Cracking One Out with Ben Fogle, later this evening.""
"Stephen Fry: "And talking of piers, Piers Morgan and Katie Hopkins visit Oxford to examine the Reverend Spooner's passion for the repair and maintenance of the city's traditional watercraft. That's Care of Punts, coming soon.""
"Stephen Fry: "Meanwhile on BBC One, Charlie Dimmock takes command of a squad of Coldstream Guards as they completely returf an entire rugby pitch in time for their crunch match against the Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders. That's Sod This for a Game of Soldiers.""