Destroy All Humans!

"Cop:: Attention, please step away from the flaming police officer. That is all, thank you for your cooperation."

"Cop:: Ice! Ice! Not with ice! Ocean of ice! Ice! Ice!"

"Cop:: Attention citizens, please stand by back. This is police burning."

"Cop: [spots Crypto] Do it now boy-o."

"Cop: [spots Crypto] Go ahead, make my day!"

"Cop: [fighting against Crypto] Hold it right there!"

"Cop: [fighting against Crypto] Stop, I'm warning you!"

"Cop: [fighting against Crypto] Drop me now, or you're under arrest!"

"Cop: [fighting against Crypto] YAAAH!"

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] Come on back, so I can read you a delight."

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] Where are you going?! We were having a perfectly good fight!"

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] Where did you think you're going?"

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] If I catch ya, you're running away for a long time!"

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] You can run, but you can't hide."

"Cop: [if Crypto flees] You weren't getting away from me!"

"Cop: [if Crypto flies off] Turn off that jetpack right now!"

"Cop: [if Crypto flies off] [tutting] Flying away. Typical cowardly criminal behavior!"

"Cop: [Searching for Crypto] Come out and put your hands up."

"Cop: [Searching for Crypto] Come out, come out, whatever you are."

"Cop: [Standing by front] Can I help you?"

"Cop: [Standing by front] You're on to something?"

"Cop: [Standing by front] Yes."

"Cop: [Standing by front] What?"

"Cop: [Standing by front] Please, step away from me, sir."

"Cop: [Bumping toward] Look out!"

"[referring to a cow] But they're covered in nipples!"

"What's shakin', Pox? You look a little... what's the word... constipated."

"Okay, monkeys. You want a war? You got a war."

"Don't get mad, get sadistic."

"I think this calls for the JUMBO PROBE."

"A Cryptosporidium captured by a buncha monkeys?! We gotta go in! We gotta crack some craniums! We gotta rescue me - him - he's gotta rescue me - I mean, we gotta - I gotta - brains, man - WHEN DO I GET TO BLOW THINGS UP?!"

"[disguised as Mayor of Rockwell] Greetings, fellow human agricultural engineers. There is nothing going on here. Everything is normal. Carry on with your pathetic human lives. That is all."

"[disguised as Mayor of Rockwell] I kid the flying saucer freaks - but seriously, they add a lot of local colour to the community, don't they? I mean, without them, we'd have nobody to ostracize but the inbreeders! Badda-bing! Is this thing on?"

"[disguised as President Huffman] The truth is, America has been attacked. Not by little green men, but red - and our invaders are most definitely of this Earth. Despite the efforts of this administration, our nation has been infiltrated by Communists."

"Attention, humans: I am Cryptosporidium of the planet Furon. This planet is now a territory of the Furon Empire. Resist THIS. [crushes Silhouette's head underfoot]"

"No more... blowing stuff up?"

"Pathetic Humans!"

"Snack time."

"It's probin' time!"

"Now, then. I know what you're thinking: "What can I, a lowly novice, do to help bring about the destruction of Earth and the inevitable reign of the Furon Empire?!" Well, I'll tell you. It was in the earliest days of the Empire that we realized our species was doomed. Eons of waging war on inferior races with unregulated atomic weaponry had mutated our genes. We could not propagate, due to a complete and utter lack of genitalia. Fortunately, a Furon ship happened upon Earth on its way back from destroying the Martians. Human society was young and... nubile. Sailors on a foreign planet, letting off steam, one thing led to another... Long story short: every human being alive today has, buried deep within his genetic code, a strand of Furon DNA. Over the eons we've learned to clone ourselves, but with each iteration the information degrades, and the results are increasingly unpredictable. The Furon genes in humanity's DNA are ancient, uncorrupted. They represent the future of the Furon race. If only we can get at them..."

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Oh, don't mind me. I'm only a fictional character in a simulated universe, after all. I haven't anything better to do, really. I'm just a bunch of electrons floating around inside your console, and a few hundred kilobytes of data stored on your DAS disk. DON'T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO MEEEE!"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Well, it's your electric bill. You could turn the console off, you know. Haven't you ever heard of global warming?"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Take a step outside the mothership. There's a whole planet full of feeble humans just waiting to be stomped on!"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Didn't anyone tell you? The name of the game is "Destroy All Humans!", not "Screw Around On The Mothership!""

"(After letting the game sit for a while) You know, you should be out destroying humans right now, instead of twiddling your thumbs!"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Why don't you hurry up and eat your fish and chips and watch your television?!"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) You know, this isn't much fun for me. But I don't suppose you ever stopped to consider that, did you?! Oh, no! You just wandered away from the TV to do whatever it is you're doing, leaving me here talking to myself like some kind of pathetic loser, while you eat your chips and dip!"

"(After letting the game sit for a while) Anybody there? No? Well, take your time. All the time in the world. Lots and lots of time... (starts snoring)"

"So what would you like to upgrade, you little ball of unbridled aggression?"

"Saucer upgrades - excellent choice! Chicks dig a souped-up ride!"