"TV News Announcer: Here's another UFO Bulletin: The Defense Department has just announced that the unidentified flying object suddenly disappeared from our radar screen. They believe the object has either disintegrated in space, or it may be a space ship from another planet which has the ability to nullify all radar beams."

"In space-blazing COLOR"

"TV News Announcer: [News report after Santa's disappearance] And Mrs. Claus has positively identified the kidnappers as Martians."

"Well, when Voldar "accidentally" left us in the airlock and then came up here and "accidentally" threw the door switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry or that would be the end of us. Eh, uh, "accidentally," of course."

"[after being asked if he is going to use a rocket sleigh] No siree! We're going out the good ol' fashioned way. Prancer and Dancer and Donder and Blitzen, and Vixen and Nixon... oh, consarnit I get those names mixed up, but the KIDS know their names."

"Laura Lichstein - Brooke"

"All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit!"

"Mansell Rivers-Bland - Rubinkraur"

"If we take them with us to Mars, Santa's disappearance will remain a mystery. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa Claus was kidnapped by Martians."

"Santa Brings Christmas Fun to Mars!"

"Christopher Graham - Willy"

"Dead Santa: [whispers] Santa said ORAL."

"Dan Haggerty - Mike McGavin"

"I need to know the connection between the elves and the Nazis!"

"Julie Austin - Kirsten"

"Deanna Lund - Kirsten's mother"

"Borah Silver - Kirsten's grandfather"

"John Call - Santa Claus"

"Alvin Epstein - Man with Nosebleed"

"Tim Guinee - Needleman Actor"

"Rosemary Murphy - Frances"

"Joe Lisi - Maurice"

"Amy Spanger - Soap Actress Nurse"

"Nick Wyman - Soap Actor Doctor"

"Alice Drummond - Actress Playing Frances"

"Dan Ziskie - Leg Tremor Doctor"

"Josh Pais - Ophthalmologist"

"Daniel London - Tom"

"Lynn Cohen - Caden's mother"

"Stephen Adly Guirgis - Davis"

"Deirdre O'Connell - Mrs. Bascomb"

"Cliff Carpenter - Old Man"

"Michael Higgins - Actor Playing Man With Nosebleed"

"Jerry Adler - Caden's father"

"Jennifer Jason Leigh - Maria"

"Hope Davis - Madeleine Gravis"

"Dianne Wiest - Ellen Bascomb / Millicent Weems"

"Tom Noonan - Sammy Barnathan"

"Michelle Williams - Claire Elizabeth Keen"

"Catherine Keener - Adele Lack"

"Sadie Goldstein - Olive Cotard"

"Emily Watson - Tammy"

"Pastor: Everything is more complicated than you think. You only see a tenth of what is true. There are a million little strings attached to every choice you make; you can destroy your life every time you choose. But maybe you won't know for twenty years. And you may never ever trace it to its source. And you only get one chance to play it out. Just try and figure out your own divorce. And they say there is no fate, but there is: it's what you create. And even though the world goes on for eons and eons, you are only here for a fraction of a fraction of a second. Most of your time is spent being dead or not yet born. But while alive, you wait in vain, wasting years, for a phone call or a letter or a look from someone or something to make it all right. And it never comes or it seems to but it doesn't really. And so you spend your time in vague regret or vaguer hope that something good will come along. Something to make you feel connected, something to make you feel whole, something to make you feel loved. And the truth is I feel so angry, and the truth is I feel so fucking sad, and the truth is I've felt so fucking hurt for so fucking long and for just as long I've been pretending I'm OK, just to get along, just for, I don't know why, maybe because no one wants to hear about my misery, because they have their own. Well, fuck everybody. Amen."

"Elke Putzkammer: If the year is a life, then September, the beginning of fall, is when the bloom is off the rose and things start to die. It's a melancholy month and maybe because of that, quite beautiful."

"Adele Lack: Everyone is disappointing the more you know them."

"Philip Seymour Hoffman - Caden Cotard"

"Samantha Morton - Hazel"

"Robin Weigert - adult Olive"

"Tammy: I feel ok, mostly... fucking might help."

"Christopher Evan Welch - Pastor"