"[every time Oz doesn't answer, Frankie hits him in the stomach or kidneys, then hugs him to stop him collapsing] My brother, believe me, you don't want to dance with me all night."

"Oz, I just wanted to be sure it was you. Everybody's inside. By the way, [grabs his crotch] Huevos grandes, amigo!"

"I love blue cheese, and they hate it!"

"Get ready for mush hour!"

"We’ll be with you all in a while, and we promise to make you smile."

"[angrily] SHUT UP, CHESTER! I HATE YOU! WHEN I BOUGHT THIS CONDO, NO ONE TOLD ME A LITTLE RAT LIKE YOU LIVED NEXT DOOR! I'M SO SICK OF YOUR BARKING! [Finds a watering can and pours water on the dog]"

"Everything here's white. Including my FATHER!"

"Rupert: I'm not on the phone!"

"Ted & Mom: Rupert, get off the phone!"

"[after dreaming of his origins] I'm an Eskimo?!"

"The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, Jack."