First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Your voice, remember? You promised me your voice! Our contract, remember?"
"Look at yourself. Look at yourself!"
"Donald Sutherland as Captain Benjamin Franklin "Hawkeye" Pierce, Jr."
"Marvin Miller as PA Announcer"
"Bobby Troup as Staff Sergeant Gorman"
"Dale Ishimoto as Korean doctor"
"Kim Atwood as Ho-Jon"
"G. Wood as Brigadier General Charles Hartington Hammond"
"Bud Cort as Private Warren Boone"
"Timothy Brown as Corporal Judson"
"Michael Murphy as Captain Ezekiel Bradbury "Me Lay" Marston V"
"Ken Prymus as Private First Class Seidman"
"David Arkin as Staff Sergeant Wade Douglas Vollmer/PA Announcer."
"Tamara Horrocks as Captain Bridget "Knocko" McCarthy"
"Dawne Damon as Lieutenant Wilma "Scorch" Storch"
"Indus Arthur as Lieutenant Leslie"
"Jo Ann Pflug as Lieutenant Maria "Dish" Schneider"
"Corey Fischer as Captain Patrick "Band-Aid" Bandini"
"Danny Goldman as Captain Dennis Murrhardt"
"René Auberjonois as Father Francis John Patrick "Dago Red" Mulcahy"
"Gary Burghoff as Corporal Walter Eugene "Radar" O'Reilly"
"Carl Gottlieb as Captain "Ugly" John Black"
"Roger Bowen as Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake"
"Robert Duvall as Major Franklin Delano Marion "Ferret Face" Burns"
"Sally Kellerman as Major Margaret J. "Hot Lips" Houlihan"
"Fred Williamson as Captain Oliver Harmon "Spearchucker" Jones"
"John Schuck as Captain Walter Koskiusko "Painless Pole" Waldowski"
"Tom Skerritt as Captain Augustus Bedford "Duke" Forrest"
"Elliott Gould as Captain "Trapper" John Francis Xavier McIntyre"
"You're not a real M*A*S*H fan until you've seen the original. (1982 re-release)"
"M*A*S*H Gives A D*A*M*N."
"M*A*S*H Hysteria"
"SSG Gorman: [Repeated line] Goddam Army..."
"Pvt. Seidman: [Singing for Painless the Theme Song] Suicide is painless / it brings on many changes / and I can take or leave it / if I please"
"Capt. Bandini: Something in a marshmallow?"
"Capt. Murrhardt: Painless is a dentist, and a dentist shouldn't read. That's his whole problem."
"P.A. Announcement: Attention. Captain Banning - er, Captain Bandini. [Exhales forcefully] Attention. Captain Bandini is now performing a femoral pop—a popli—a p-- a femoral P-O-P-L-I-T-E-R-A-L artery expli - exp - - exploration and possible graft."
"Ho-Jon: Hawkeye? Duke say you better haul ass home quick. We got new chest cutter in our tent."
"How do ya like them apples, Charlie?"
"Alright men, we're not here to sell lemonade, we're here to practice!"
"[to Brigadier General Charlie Hammond] Ever since the dark days before Pearl Harbor, I have been proud to wear this uniform."
"[to Henry] This isn't a hospital, it's an insane asylum!"
"[in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, strangle me!"
"[in the middle of sex] Oh, Frank, my lips are hot! Oh, kiss my hot lips!"
"[to Hawkeye] I like to think of the army as my home."
"[During football game] All right bud, your fucking head is coming right off!"
"I'm a fairy. A victim of latent homosexuality. I've turned into a fairy."
"If a man isn't a man anymore . . . what's he got left that he should be living for?"
"Take care of the squirrels."
"[Watching Frank Burns leave] Fair is fair, Henry. If I nail Hot Lips and punch Hawkeye, can I go home?"