"Look, mother, I want to go to work in one hour. We are the Pros from Dover and we figure to crack this kid’s chest and get out to the golf course before it gets dark. So you go find the gas-passer and you have him pre-medicate this patient. Then bring me the latest pictures on him. The ones we saw must be 48 hours old by now. Then call the kitchen and have them rustle us up some lunch. Ham and eggs will be all right. Steak would be even better. And then give me at least ONE nurse who knows how to work in close without getting her tits in my way."

"Well, you know, Man o' War, after they retired him from racing, they put him out to stud. And he had, on an average, uh, about a hundred and twenty, a hundred and thirty foals every year. And he lived to be thirty-six. And then when he died, they did an autopsy, and they found out that he was a raving queen."

"[As a helicopter attempts to land on the helipad where they are standing] I wish they wouldn't land those things here while we're playing golf."

"No. No food. Sex. I want sex. Bring me some sex. [The others call for Storch, but Trapper John points at Hot-Lips] No, no, no, that one. Bring me that one over there. That one. The sultry bitch with the fire in her eyes. Take her clothes off! I want that one, yes. Take her clothes off and bring her to me now."

"It's a good thing you have a nice body, nurse, otherwise they'd get rid of you quick."

"Who am I? I am the pro from Dover, and this [Indicates Trapper John] is my favorite caddy."

"Let's give him a sexy scar, huh? Fantastic."

"[Trying to convince Lt. Dish to sleep with Painless.] You have the rare privilege that happens on certain occasions to chief executives of states or nations. You have the privilege of restoring a human being's life by a tender act of mercy."

"Baby we're gonna see some stitching like you never saw before."

"[to Major Margaret Houlihan] Oh, come off it, Major! You put me right off my fresh fried lobster, do you realize that? I'm going to go back to my bed, I'm going to put away the best part of a bottle of scotch . . . and under normal circumstances, you being normally what I would call a very attractive woman, I would have invited you back to share my little bed with me, and you might possibly have come. But you really put me off. I mean, you're what we call a regular army clown."

"Frank, were you on this religious kick at home, or did you crack up over here?"

"It is the greatest mystery of all because no human being will ever solve it."

"Patrick Troughton - Father Brennan"

"Harvey Stephens - Damien Thorn"

"Billie Whitelaw - Mrs. Baylock"

"David Warner - Keith Jennings"

"Lee Remick - Katherine Thorn"

"Gregory Peck - Robert Thorn"

"If something frightening happens to you today, think about it. It may be a warning. It may be The Omen."

"It is the greatest mystery of all because no human being will ever solve it. It is the highest suspense because no man can bear it. It is the greatest fear because it is the ancient fear of the unknown. It is a warning foretold for thousands of years. It is our final warning. It is The Omen."

"It is too much to be an accident, too strange to be a coincidence, too frightening to be ignored."

"Those who foretold it are dead. Those who can stop it are in grave danger."

"Good morning. You are one day closer to the end of the world. You have been warned."

"You've made me smash my Life Savers."

"Austin Pendleton — Frederick Larrabee"

"Kenneth Mars — Hugh Simon"

"Madeline Kahn — Eunice Burns"

"Ryan O'Neal — Dr. Howard Bannister"

"Barbra Streisand — Judy Maxwell"

"A screwball comedy. Remember them?"

"I will get to the bottom of this if it takes me the rest of my life, which may end at any minute!"

"Do you see this yellow pill? You know what it's for? It's to remind me to take this blue pill!"

"Tell them to bring straight jacket! In assorted sizes!"

"I know how you feel, mister. I hate it when my igneous rocks are even touched!"

"There is no Hans. There is only me, Fritz."

"You will tell her you are smitten with her, that you had followed her all evening, and you will make passionate love to her."

"Snakes, as you know, live in mortal fear of tile."

"Don't you dare strike that brave unbalanced woman!"

"Who is that dangerously unbalanced woman?"

"This is inexcusable. You can't come in here uninvited."

"For God's sake, don't shoot me, I'm part Italian."

"The slight mistake, Mesdames and Messieurs, is in the so-called identity of these alleged colleagues. I don't know who he is, but she is definitely not herself."

"I myself have a little announcement to make, that may be of some interest. My natural curiosity was aroused, an so I did a little research on Mr. Bankister and Miss Burns, and I think--"

"I find that story as difficult to swallow as I do this potage au gelée."

"There is an old Croatian saying, Bollixter, which goes..."

"Don’t you know the meaning of propriety?"

"Don't kick those rocks, you Philistine!"

"Why, those are Howard's. What on Earth are you doing with Howard Bannister's rocks?"

"The point is, the point is... oh god, I've forgotten my point."