"All I've ever cared about was video games and they made me a millionaire. So maybe I don't know what the Civil War was, or who invented the helicopter, even though I own one. But I did beat The Legend of Zelda before I could walk."

"I'm thinking about getting metal legs. It's a risky operation, but it'll be worth it."

"It's a wonderful dandelion/nettle blend. Very cleansing. Good for new beginnings."

"Later you guys!"

"I had a dream last night. I dreamt I was a dove flying over the sea. And then I dove into the ocean... And I swam with the dolphins. I was two animals joined as one...which meant - good things are coming. Good things."

"Oh, ok, ok... Fair enough, yeah, rage it up. Rage all you want. Good things are coming. Good things."

"I had a dream last night. I was a snake slithering through the grass, until I came upon a dead elk, and I climbed into his soul, and it's there I stayed until morning, which meant I will underestimate someone very close to me."

"[playing video game] Uh-uh, wait your turn. I'm on a roll here. Take that, you dirty dopers!"

"[Responding to Grandpa having a few beers at the party, if he was alive] He would have had twenty! No, he had a problem..."

"I can hear my hair growing."

"Who wants some cereal? (yeah Colonel Crackers is the best) Oh, I just wish he would hop off the box and hang out with us. I think he's so cute!"

"(guess I'm not high enough to get that one) You know what else you're not gonna get, party pooper? The Colonel! Here you go, sweetie. [gruff voice] Sucks to be you, nerd!"

"You want an ice cream sandwich? They're on whole wheat with lettuce."

"I didn't know you were bringing people. I would've trimmed my antlers!"

"That's sweet. Let's see... You're my, uh... I dunno, three-thousand something."

"I'll give you my grandson's number, he's gay too."

"Oh, you can stay as long as you like and love any man you choose!"

"Thanks, Alex. Maybe tomorrow you can introduce them to heroin."

"Thank you, Mr. President."

"I'm an Antique."

"Space shuttle."

"I wanna eat the TV."

"Dragonflies?"

"Go, monkey! Karate chop the elephant!"

"Oh my God! I am naked... Come on in!"

"Suck those jugs, kid!"

"The phone is for you. I think it's the Devil!"

"Dude, anyone can get past a dog, nobody fucks with a lion!"

"Hey, chill, bro. You know you can't raise your voice like that when the lion is here!"

"So I looked up in my tree, and there was the fuckin' king of the jungle staring at me. So I called the five-O!"

"It's called the Brown Bomber. It'll get you so stoned, you'll shit your pants!"

"I'll smoke it with you, bro. We'll go to the looney bin together. I don't give a fuck!"

"What is that ringing? Do I have a tumor?"

"Drive, monkey, DRIVE!!"

"I'm way too baked to drive to the Devil's house!"

"This shit's fuckin' crazy!"

"Dude, that party was off the hook, kid. Your girl can drink her fuckin' face off!"

"I got my yellow belt, monkey got his red belt...he's a quick learner!"

"Shut up, monkey, I've got company, dude!"

"I feel like Tom Cruise in Cocktail!"

"It's tequila! It's supposed to fuck you up!"

"Stupid fucking idiot. Red-shirted ass."

"Yes, it sucks we don't have alcohol, but we do serve shots...of wheat grass."

"I know the food doesn't sound good, but it tastes good, and is good for you."

"You said it wrong, stupid. It's Shiloh."

"You were sweet."

"Welcome to Our Lady Health. My name's Shiloh, and I'll be serving you today."

"Let's make fun of the vegans and their crazy lifestyle. We're not hurting anybody. Go eat a hamburger and choke on a cow dick!"

"Jeff: [to Grace] So I mean, what's it like being old? It's gotta be weird, right? I mean, you saw a lotta stuff go down. World War I, World War II, the automobile, Tupac, I mean..."

"Grace: I once gave Charlie Chaplin a handjob."