Religious Comedy Films

"Oh, uh…I-I-I-I'm-I must have drove through, uh, a car wash wi-with my windows open?"

"Donald Pleasence — Doctor Harmon"

"I say, if you don't set deadlines, nothing happens."

"Bananas." I hate that expression. I make a beautiful fruit, and people use it for "crazy."

"But, Tracy, I don't want you to think I'm bragging, but, let's face it: I'm an original, the one and only. I made my own mould and threw it away."

"People remember the miracle and forget why I did it."

"I'm not always on cloud nine."

"I don't take off for spelling."

"They gave some of my best people a pretty hard time."

"[looking at Earth] What a mess. Every time I look down there, it gets worse. Maybe I oughta stop looking down. Millions of planets, and that one's always been a problem. Why that one? I know why: people. I had to put people on it. Maybe I oughta go down there and look around. I gotta do something. Let's see, um…[lightning strikes] Please, not now, I'm thinking!"

"Mathematics. That was a mistake. I should have made the whole thing a little easier."

"Nobody's perfect."

"Alma Beltran — Rosa, Paula's housekeeper"

"John Louie — Shingo"

"Conrad Janis — Charles Benson, School Principal"

"Hans Conried — Dr. Barnes"

"David Birney — Don Richards"

"That's right, I made another movie. You know me, I can't stop creating."

"Did you get His autograph?"

"George Burns — God"

"Buy God, B-U-Y."

"Let God put you in the driver's seat."

"Great God!"

"God is bullish on humanity."

"[to Tracy] Don't watch any horror films, okay? [cuts to a scene of Tracy watching a horror film]"

"No, He never talks to me. Maybe he doesn't understand Spanish so good."

"I don't believe a word of what you're saying; spelling always counts."

"You can be sure…if it's God."

"How do you spell relief? G-O-D."

"You're in good hands with God."

"Think God!"

"Wilfrid Hyde-White — Judge Thomas Miller"

"Louanne — Tracy Richards"

"It was some dumb commercial. They're always trying to sell you something."

"Mom, we know that God has a lot of wonderful qualities, but what would you say are some of His strongest points?"

"You know, You're not exactly easy to turn down."

"But—but if You are God, why would You bother with me?"

"Daddy, just because you can't see spirits doesn't mean they're not there. It's kinda like believing in God: sometimes, you just have to believe in things you can't see."

"Have you ever felt like you might be dreaming, even though you knew you were awake?"

"You talk to me like I'm grown up. I like that."

"Meet me in the lounge."

"I need all the help I can get."

"I mean you - Tracy."

"When I sneeze, there's no one around to bless me."

"Honest to me, I didn't."

"Oh, Daddy, you and your tricks. You're always trying to pull something on me."

"God brought me home on His motorcycle."

"Suzanne Pleshette — Paula Richards"

"James Cromwell — Priest"

"Arthur Malet — Houseman"