"Ah, doesn't this take ya back! Around mid-2007, I was living in a drainpipe, licking the backs of Cornetto lids for sustenance, and one night I'd scraped together enough pennies to afford to spend the night at the YMCA. After agreeing to be viciously buggered in return for being allowed a go on the communal PS3, I played a demo for a game called The Darkness with a silly opening sequence and a slightly obtuse puzzle that I couldn't get past. So after Big Steve chased me off so he could play the new Ratchet and Clank, I scrounged up some yellow craft paper, made some figurines from stolen Burger King napkins, and produced a short Internet video explaining how I'm really clever and therefore the game must be dumb. Who would have thought that that event would lead me to where I am today? Now I have Cornetto lids beyond the dreams of avarice, and I'm the one paying to viciously bugger Big Steve. And I'm now professional enough to play a game for more than ten minutes before I attempt to sabotage its developer's retirement plans -- unless it's Final Fantasy. Or Monster Hunter. Or I'm bored, or in a bad mood, or it's Thursday."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Zero_Punctuation
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Zero Punctuation
912 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Zero Punctuation →
Related Quotes
"Things have become a little more abstract and it's hard to tell what's real and what's a metaphor for your decaying s…"
"I say most things are more understandable. It always pissed me off when I unlocked a new skill for a character, and w…"
"“Oh here he comes. Here comes old gloomy trousers to crash the storybook romance between Zelda and all of gaming medi…"
"On the whole don’t take away that I hate the game, for Christ’s sake, but I know what you’re going to say. “Oh who ca…"
"Amnesia: The Bunker is trying an interesting new spin on things because while you are a gormless no-faced bellend and…"
"Fighting games are like six year olds in a playground. They’re full of energy and fun to watch but the moment you try…"
"But then I got to the final, final boss, and I won’t mince words, he chopped my soft ass up like avocado for the summ…"
"Hey, remember when Diablo 3 came out and it was always online even if you only wanted single player and everyone got …"
"Thing is, though, while the story's engaging with this dismal, weighty tone full of horror and blood and guts, and ge…"
"I know by this point you've all trained yourselves to not hear the phrase "subscribe to our patreon" alongside "got a…"