"Bill Stone: Ladies and gentlemen, I have some great news. Our board of directors has agreed to the acquisition of NCT Software by Oracle Corporation FOR A BILLION DOLLARS!"

"Stephen Gustavson - TreeHugger/Tom Hill"

"Jake Pennington - Clark"

"Colton Osborne - Tony"

"A day without sex... is a day wasted, man!"

"Dr. Jones: It's the human species that needs to quit playing cowboy with nature. We must act more like astronauts, spacemen taking care of Spaceship Earth."

"Shea Clark - Band Member (2)"

"Gregor Martin - News Anchor (2)"

"Laura Cassidy - News Anchor"

"Patsy van Ettinger - Nathalie's Mother"

"Alan Bagh - Rod"

"Eric Swartz - Bill Stone/CEO"

"Catherine Batcha - Becky"

"Rick Camp - Dr. Jones"

"Tricia Pettitt - Nightclub Dancer"

"James Nguyen - a restaurant customer (cameo)"

"Danny Webber - Rick"

"One life is enough for anyone. But there are so many lives within that life."

"You don't trust me?"

"I am going to wait on a customer with no pants on. Tell me that isn't the coolest thing ever."

"You food truck people think you're so cool. You're not. I can get ice cream at the grocery store."

"There was a time in my life when it was just a joy to wake up every morning and run to the mirror."

"Should've been nicer."

"You were way too drunk. There are rules."

"I think you'll find people will do a lot of things for you. If you ever just want to put down the beer bottle and let them."

"If I peed on your couch, I would pay someone to come in and steal all of your furniture. I would rather burn down your whole apartment building than tell you... "Hey, Nancy, I peed on your couch last night.""

"Danyi Deats - Jamie"

"Taylor Negron - Checker"

"Roxana Zal - Maggie"

"Joshua John Miller - Tim"

"Josh Richman - Tony"

"Daniel Roebuck - Samson 'John' Tollet"

"Ione Skye Leitch - Clarissa"

"Dennis Hopper - Feck"

"Phillip Brock - Mike"

"You understand, don't you? Sure you do. I don't like killing people. But sometimes it's necessary. That's enough for now. I, I'd like you all to leave now. Very tired. Sort of depressed. I lost a good friend today, ya know..."

"[John accuses Feck of having feelings for his blow-up doll, Ellie] Look, I'm not psycho. I know she's a doll. Right, Ellie?"

"Crispin Glover - Layne"

"It's people like you that are sending this country down the tubes. No sense of pride. No sense of loyalty. No sense of NOTHING, man."

"The only reason you stay here is so you can fuck my mother and eat her food. MOTHERFUCKER. FOOD EATER."

"My leg was right out in the middle of the street. I remember lying in the gutter and bleeding and shit, staring at my leg, right next to a beer can. And I remember thinking, that's my leg... I wonder if there's any beer in that can."

"This is like some fuckin' movie. Friends since second grade, fuckin' like THIS [crosses fingers] and then one of us gets himself in potentially BIG trouble, and now we've gotta deal with it; we've got to test our loyalty against ALL odds. It's kind of... exciting. I feel like... Chuck Norris, y'know?"