"I'm not going to work at The Gap for chrissake!"

"It's not like I had a hysterectomy. I just got fired."

"I have work around here, and unfortunately Troy, you are a master at the art of time suckage."

"Hey! I'm a non-practicing virgin."

"You look like a doily."

"Are employee snacks subsidized?"

"There's no secret handshake. There's an IQ prerequisite. But there's no secret handshake."

"I am not required to make the world a better place."

"Honey, the only thing you have to be at age 23 is yourself."

"He's so cheesy, I can't watch him without crackers."