"I just think the closer we (as a species) think we get to God, the closer we get to death."

"Men want to be alone, but we don't wanna be by ourselves."

"Having women work with men is like having a grizzly bear work with salmon . . . dipped in honey."

"I generally don't like living in a world where being what a man is, is a horrible thing; and no matter what a woman i…"

"I said to my girl, "The reason you have a key (to my house) is to keep me from having other women in my house. I give…"

"A beautiful 35-year old ain't as good-looking as an ugly 19-year old."

"(after host Anthony Cumia complained that a black, female bartender once refused to give him an extra drink, even aft…"

"(on the killing of Osama Bin Laden) I watched the Bin Laden thing, and you know, there's what's called the "conspirac…"

"If you tell me 2 + 2 is 4, and I know it is, then you... shove marbles up your ass, I go "Damn, Anthony shoves marble…"

"People always say "Don't you support the troops?" But the troops are an entity that just follows orders. It's not abo…"