"I feel like a gangster right now!"

"This song goes out to a very special little lady. Heather Hills... this one's for you."

"Loaded diaper, activate."

"Hey, what is that? A store-bought s'mores maker? A TV?! Pre-tied knots?! Stan, you're a phony! So much for the big ca…"

"You know what my grandpa always used to say? "A man who never made a mistake never made anything. The trick is to be …"

"Heather: [after Rodrick knocks down her ice bust; enraged] No. NO! [picks up a microphone stand and walks over to him…"

"Zachary Gordon as Greg Heffley"

"Robert Capron as Rowley Jefferson"

"Rachael Harris as Susan Heffley"

"A refrigerator? Ready-made meals? And a TV? This isn't camping!"