"You ladies were right. To be honest with you, your lives look terrifying to me. They do. Man, I know nothing about being a woman, but I know fear. Yo, I used to live in New York when I was 17, and I couldn't even pay my bills. You know what I did to make money? I used to do shows for drug dealers that wanted to clean their money up. One time I did a real good set, and these motherfuckers called me in the back room. They gave me $25,000 in cash. I was probably 18, 19 years old. I was scared. I thanked them profusely, I put that money in my backpack, I jumped on the subway and started heading towards Brooklyn at one o'clock in the morning. Never been that terrified in my life, because I'd never in my life had something that somebody else would want. I thought to myself, "Jesus Christ, if these motherfuckers knew how much money I had in this backpack, they'd kill me for it." Then I thought, "Holy shit. What if I had a pussy on me all the time?" That's what women are dealing with. I'm gonna tell you right now, this is real talk. If them same drug dealers gave me a pussy and said, "Put this in your backpack and take it to Brooklyn," I'd be like, "Nigga, I can't accept this.""
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Comedians from the United StatesHumorists from the United StatesStand-up comedians from the United StatesScreenwriters from the United StatesActors from Washington, D.C.
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dave_Chappelle
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Dave Chappelle
43 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Dave Chappelle →
Related Quotes
"I don't even know why people do crime. They want to catch you, they're gonna catch you. They can. They got forensics.…"
"Is it me, or do commercials have nothing to do with the products anymore? You dig? I don't even know what a fucking c…"
"I was at a party. Some guy gave me some shit. He's like, "Here, man. Take this. It's fucking mushrooms." I took it, I…"
"If you're an American, you're a racist. We're brought up from the beginning to think in generalizations. We never loo…"
"A black man would never dream of talking to the police high. That's a waste of weed. I'm serious. I mean, I'd be scar…"
"Have you ever watched, like, a cartoon that you used to watch when you were little, as an adult? That shit is wild sh…"
"White people do not like to talk about their political affiliations. It's a secret. You ever ask a white guy who's he…"
"Like, see, I'd never vote for George Bush Jr., but I don't know George Bush Jr.'s politics. Only thing I know about G…"
"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it. ... Chivalry got killed by the feminist movement on them magazines that got wo…"
"My house got robbed in New York. I didn't even call the police. I wanted to, but I couldn't. My crib is too nice. It'…"