"I was at a party. Some guy gave me some shit. He's like, "Here, man. Take this. It's fucking mushrooms." I took it, I forgot all about it, you know. Then a couple days later I found that shit in my pocket. I'm thinking, "why not?" 'Cuz I'm thinking it's like weed. Some background shit. I planned my whole day out like it was weed. "I'll chew this shit up, then I'll go to the barbershop, get my hair cut and then I'll see a movie." I chewed it up. So far, so good. Then I was in the barbershop, like an hour later. And it's funny, 'cuz I was just thinking to myself, like, "Ooh, this stuff sucks. Tastes like athlete's foot. I feel sick, but I'm not really high." Then I looked in the mirror. I saw the barber's reflection. Man, it looked like a big penis was cutting my hair."
Quote Details
Added by wikiquote-import-bot
Unverified quote
0 likes
Comedians from the United StatesHumorists from the United StatesStand-up comedians from the United StatesScreenwriters from the United StatesActors from Washington, D.C.
Original Language: English
Available Languages (1)
Sources
Imported from EN Wikiquote
https://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Dave_Chappelle
Revision History
No revisions have been submitted for this quote.
Categories
Dave Chappelle
43 quotes on TrueQuotesView all quotes by Dave Chappelle →
Related Quotes
"I don't even know why people do crime. They want to catch you, they're gonna catch you. They can. They got forensics.…"
"Is it me, or do commercials have nothing to do with the products anymore? You dig? I don't even know what a fucking c…"
"If you're an American, you're a racist. We're brought up from the beginning to think in generalizations. We never loo…"
"A black man would never dream of talking to the police high. That's a waste of weed. I'm serious. I mean, I'd be scar…"
"Have you ever watched, like, a cartoon that you used to watch when you were little, as an adult? That shit is wild sh…"
"White people do not like to talk about their political affiliations. It's a secret. You ever ask a white guy who's he…"
"Like, see, I'd never vote for George Bush Jr., but I don't know George Bush Jr.'s politics. Only thing I know about G…"
"Chivalry is dead, and women killed it. ... Chivalry got killed by the feminist movement on them magazines that got wo…"
"I had a crackhead break my car window one time, broke it. You know what he stole? A fucking candy bar I had lying on …"
"My house got robbed in New York. I didn't even call the police. I wanted to, but I couldn't. My crib is too nice. It'…"