"Randy Quaid - Peter Blunt"

"Dan Aykroyd - Captain Tom Everett"

"Golf, golf... what kinda name is "golf" anyway? Sounds like a sound you make when you've got something caught in your…"

"You know I'm always shooting myself with one of those poison-dipped, crossbow darts. I don't know why they don't put …"

"We're talking mucho dinero, and probably some American money too."

"[to one of his workers] Take chances. I'm insured."

"Well, you certainly made it very clear how your legal system works Mr. Young. Now, I'd like to explain a little bit a…"

"[on the phone, after Chandler Young has gotten Hartounian Construction's power turned off] That's hard to say, huh? W…"

"I won't be a caddy all my life, I'm going to carwash school in the fall."

"Robert Stack - Chandler Young"