"The one thing my grandma does do that irritates me is she gets the walkin' farts, you know. Every step she takes, something come out, you know. [takes a few steps while making fart sounds] But the-- It's horrible. But the worst part is, she gets the walkin' farts at the flea market. And that's bad because when she's at the flea market, she wears them spandex drawers. So now it can't escape nowhere, you know what I mean? And she let out a walkin' fart in them spandex drawers, looks like a mouse runnin' down the inside of her pant leg right there, like that. Good Lord. Yeah. And then it starts to form a big ball in the back of her britches because it can't escape. It looks like she stole a cabbage or somethin'. And the feller runnin' the cabbage stand in there thought she was stealin' cabbages. So he goes, "You're stealin' cabbages." He went to rip her britches down... I'm haulin' ass about this time, you know, because I know Hiroshima fittin' to hit up there at the flea market. When he ripped them down, good Lord. Sounded like a big rig lettin' out the brake pressure. He ripped them down and [makes spraying sound]. "What the hell?" Critters runnin' around... critters runnin' around with no fur on 'em, and people melded to the walls, and Grandpa's pissed. He's like: "[high pitched, distant] You want to get out of the flea market before you kill everybody in here? This is ridiculous!""
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Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again
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