"I would like to talk for just a little bit about firework safety. It's something I like to do every time I speak in public. No, seriously, years ago, my friend Timmy Smithers and I went to a Fourth of July celebration and at one point in the festivities, Timmy leaned back too far with a lit punk and ignited the main fireworks display for the evening, inevitably causing his death and not a night goes by that I don't wake up, feeling horrible, because I know in my heart that there was more I could've done to save his life... but it was so pretty. "Timmy, no-- Would ya look at that! That's the beginning of the Chinese Space Program!" [looks shocked]"
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Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again
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