"I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been."

"What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?"

"Let's go stomp those weirdies for Jesus!"

"You had your thumb up your butt and your mind was in Arizona"

"You’re large but not in charge."

"Don't you know who I am?"

"I'm Bill Allred, Painter of Light."

"KSL is the Zoloft of the evening news."

"If it had been a pain in the ass, you wouldn’t be pregnant now."

"Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?"