"I'm not a bottom poker and I never have been."

"What do you mean I can’t sleep with this hooker in the basement?"

"You had your thumb up your butt and your mind was in Arizona"

"You’re large but not in charge."

"Don't you know who I am?"

"I'm Bill Allred, Painter of Light."

"KSL is the Zoloft of the evening news."

"If it had been a pain in the ass, you wouldn’t be pregnant now."

"Thanks, Tonto, for your help."

"Wouldn't you like a nose like his full of quarters?"