"Was that a goat?!"

"[Trapped on a delayed plane with idiotic sports fans after a surreal day in Miami] I really feel like killing somebody."

"Matt Arnold: Uh, Jenny's mom opened the door, and I came running up to squirt her. And then, uh, Mrs. Herk jumped me.…"

"Eddie: Let's get the hell outta here, Snake. I think I hear one of them silent alarms."

"Snake: [to the Russians] If you assholes try to call the cops after we leave, the next bullet goes through your head."

"[Opening the movie] God said to Noah, "I am going to put an end to all people, for the Earth is filled with violence …"

"Snake: [to Puggy] Next time I see you again, you're dead."

"Leonard: If we don't shoot someone soon, I'm gonna forget how."

"[v.o.] Arthur Herk: one of the few Floridians who was not confused when he voted for Pat Buchanan."

"[After his son has just called him a loser] Okay, now it's my turn. Up yours, you little shithead. Okay, your turn."