To Die For

"[narrating] Here's what I found out. That all of life is a learning experience. Everything is part of a big master plan. But sometimes... Well, it's hard to read. I mean, it's like if you get too close to the screen, all you can see is a bunch of little dots. You don't see the big picture until you stand back. But when you do, everything comes into focus. [speaking] Hi. My name is Suzanne Maretto. No, wait. I'm sorry. Suzanne Maretto is my married name. My own name... is Suzanne Stone. That's my professional name. Suzanne Stone. It's not like I have any negative feelings about the name Maretto. [flashback to wedding] Maretto is the name, after all, of my husband [cut to corpse which lies staring blankly]…who I loved very, very much. [sniffles] Um. Heh. Sorry. [smiles] Sorry. It's also the name of his parents, Joe and Angela Maretto... and of his lovely and talented sister, Janice Maretto... who have been like a second family to me... and who I regard as I do my own family... particularly since my recent tragedy. I knew just through knowing and being related to them. They have given me what I think is a very precious and valuable insight... into the different kinds of ethnic relationships... that are part of the very things that I've been trying to explore... as a member of the professional media."

"You're not anybody in America unless you're on TV. On TV is where we learn about who we really are. Because what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if nobody's watching? And if people are watching, it makes you a better person."

"The point is that, for instance, Connie Chung, who is married, I believe, to Maury Povich, the well-known interviewer, doesn't say: Hello, this is Connie Povich with the news. Now, does she? And I don't think she would be embarrassed by it because she's already pretty ethnic when you think about it. Or to take another example, someone who doesn't have an ethnic bone in her body. There's Jane Pauley, who I strongly relate to because, you know, we have similar physical traits. Although I don't have to struggle with the weight problem like she does. And she also, to the best of my knowledge, has never identified herself, audience-wise, as Jane Trudeau even though her husband, Mr. Trudeau, is a prominent cartoonist of some kind, and not, as so many people believe, the ex-president of Canada. So, what I'm saying is this: There are some people who never know who they are or who they wanna be until it's too late. And that is a real tragedy in my book, because I always knew who I was and who I wanted to be. Always."

"It's nice to live in a country where life, liberty...and all the rest of it still stand for something."

"You know Mr. Gorbachev, the guy that ran Russia for so long? I am a firm believer that he would still be in power today if he had had that ugly purple thing taken off his head."

"I believe that in our fast-moving computer age it is the medium of television that joins together the global community, and it is the television journalist who serves as messenger bringing the world into our homes and our homes into the world. It has always been my dream to become such a messenger. I look to you, gentlemen, now to make that dream a reality."

"[to Lydia about Russell and Jimmy] It's their word against mine. Who are they? Bunch of 16-year-old losers who grew up in trailers whose parents sit around drinking and screwing their cousins! [laughs] I'm a professional person, for Christ's sake. I come from a good home. Who do you think a jury would believe?"

"Any time it rains, or when there's thunder and lightning, or when it snows, I have to jack off."

"I'll be here every day for life, plus 30 years, if I live that long."

"Suzanne used to say that you're not really anybody in America unless you're on TV...'cause what's the point of doing anything worthwhile if there's nobody watching? So when people are watching, it makes you a better person. So if everybody was on TV all the time, everybody would be better people. But, if everybody was on TV all the time, there wouldn't be anybody left to watch, and that's where I get confused."

"But it's really something when you think that... I'm the one who's gonna be famous. Suzanne would die if she knew."

"[being interviewed about Suzanne] First impressions in one word? You really want to know? Four letters, begins with "C." [beat] Cold. C-O-L-D. Cold."

"Murder...scandal...fame...Who says you can't have it all?"

"She will do anything to get what she wants...ANYTHING."

"She was prepared to go all the way...for what she wanted."

"She knew what it took to get to the top...a lot of heart and a little head."

"Nicole Kidman - Suzanne Stone"

"Matt Dillon - Larry Maretto"

"Illeana Douglas - Janice Maretto"

"Joaquin Phoenix - Jimmy Emmett"

"Alison Folland - Lydia Mertz"

"Casey Affleck - Russel Hines"

"Dan Hedaya - Joe Maretto"

"Maria Tucci - Angela Maretto"

"Wayne Knight - Ed Grant"