American Wedding

"No, no, no, shit-head, you hooked up with one other girl for what, ten seconds? Not to mention that you passed on Nadia, dumbest fucking thing ever. You're like a blind man picking out his favorite porno."

"It's on like Donkey Kong, biotch."

"My dick looks like a corn dog and I've got cake all over my balls. Hey Finch, you want this for here or to go?"

"Hey, Finch, what's the capital of Thailand? [Hits Finch in the groin] Bangkok!"

"Well, polish my nuts and serve me a milkshake."

"If you'll excuse me, I have some shit to attend to."

"Gee, thanks for inviting me to the graduation party, fucker."

"Congratulation, Jism!"

"Happy "Fuck Day", Ass Mouth! What happened to my invite? Get lost in the mail, Fuckface?"

"Told ya that guy wanted to fuck me."

"It's time for me to boom-boom with the bridesmaids, Finch-fucker. 'Cause I'm gonna hang out with my wang out, and I'm gonna rock out with my cock out."

"Everyone wants a piece of the Stifmeister."

"Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers. Well, you know what? Im-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like oh so good. And I'm gonna' be like "You like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!""

"Fine. Adios!"

"Hey, flower-fuckers, you there?!"

"Save it, dickhead, I'm working."

"This sucks! [Kevin & Finch look at him] Did I say that out loud? [Whispers to Jim] Keep going, man. It's good."

"Fuckface! What part of "This sucks my ass" do you not under-fucking-stand?!"

"Suck my dick. Ron Jeremy"

"Dear Steve, I will be forever in your debt if you teach me to dance like you did in the gay bar"

"Fuck you Finch, you didn't eat shit OK, you didn't prance around here like a ballerina for the whole week. (Cadence appears) Oh wedding this, suck my ass that. I'm special, you're special, we're all just a bunch of special fuckers aren't we? Well, you know what? I'm-a gonna get laid Finch-fucker and it's going to be like "oh so good". It's gonna' be like "Do you like this shit, mama?" and she's gonna be like "Fucking right, doggy, give it to me. Suck on my nipples like you're milking a cow!" Like... [sucking noise] Moo (Not amused Cadence)[sucking noise] Moo. [sucking noise] Moo. (Looks at Cadence) You been here long?"

"Wow, Steve Stifler just gave a rose to a girl and meant it. This is huge; it's like, monkeys learning to use tools for the first time."

"Love isn't just a feeling. It's shaving your balls."

"Jim, I had trouble finding the words to tell you how I feel. And I realized something. Love isn't just a feeling. Love is something you do. It's a dress, a visit to band camp. A special haircut. Jim, you've given me everything I ever wanted, and it is my solemn vow to give everything I am to you."

"Hey I'm gonna give you a little piece of advice: love life, get paid, then get laid. That is the basic philosophy of... The Finch-meister!"

"Voltaire can suck on my balls!"

"Oh, Stifler's Mom!"

"I did fuck your Mom... Twice!"

"Jim's Dad: Son, step away from the animal..."

"This time they're going all the way."

"Forever hold your piece."

"Jason Biggs - Jim Levenstein"

"Seann William Scott - Steve Stifler"

"Alyson Hannigan - Michelle Flaherty"

"Eddie Kaye Thomas - Paul Finch"

"Thomas Ian Nicholas - Kevin Myers"

"January Jones - Cadence Flaherty"

"Eugene Levy - Jim's Dad"