First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Lord Sugar: (to Kurt before firing him) I admire your honesty here, but Kurt you messed up on this task, okay? So Kurt, you're fired!"
"(Evolve win the task and are sent away by Lord Sugar, but as he does so he asks Jason to go back into the boardroom) Lord Sugar's receptionist: Could you go back into the boardroom Jason? (A scared look comes across Jason's face. He goes back into the boardroom and faces Lord Sugar worriedly) Lord Sugar: Don't have such a worried look on your face Jason. I forgot to say, one of those sales was down to you. Well done. Jason Leech: I hope to keep impressing you. Lord Sugar: Okay. (Jason steps back towards the boardroom door and leaves. As he goes out the boardroom, he sighs with relief to join the rest of Evolve)"
"Alex Mills: (dressed as "Herbert the Pervert" to Karren who looks bewildered) I'm supposed to be a scary thing, so if I'm scaring people it's working. Karren Brady: Don't...Don't scare the kids."
"Myles Mordaunt: How about we get someone to take a picture of me and you? Leah Totton: No Myles, we need someone who looks...Younger."
"(Leah and Myles look through the pictures they took.) Myles Mordaunt: It's that you look like this...(imitating Leah in the photos) It's like he smelt of, poo or something."
"Jordan Poulton: I am a woman who works really long hours in the city and I don't want to have to go out to a bar and sit there and wait for men to come and talk to me. I want to be able to go onto a website and choose the people I want to interact with because I am a strong, sexually liberated and high powered woman! (bewildered look from Karren)"
"Jordan Poulton: If, and when, an investment is made then those discussions happen but the honest truth is... Lord Sugar: What discussions happen? Jordan Poulton: Discussions about percentages and how it was split between... (stunned look from Myles) Lord Sugar: Errrr... no discussion here mate. We get 50:50 shares. Jordan Poulton: I'm a safer investment... Lord Sugar: Safer investment?! What bleeding world do you live in?! A text-start business?! Jordan Poulton: Lord Sugar, let me explain... Lord Sugar: They're the most risky bloody investments on this planet!"
"Jordan Poulton: Hello, I'm Jordan Claude Littner: I know you are. (Jordan sits down) It transpires that actually, this isn't your business! Jordan Poulton: Mmm-hm. Claude Littner: "Mm-hm"? What does "Mm-hm" mean? Jordan Poulton: There's three parts to the answer I think because... Claude Littner: Hang on a second, hang on a second. You are not a shareholder in this business. Jordan Poulton: Correct. Claude Littner: Correct. Therefore, you've got no right to negotiate or to give away a part of a business that you do not own. Jordan Poulton: Mm-hm. Claude Littner: Furthermore, and this is what I'm very upset about, having waded through these pages, when I got to page 45 in your 52-page diatribe here, you're only prepared to yield 15.39% equity. (brief pause) That's not the deal! The deal is 50% for £250,000 Jordan Poulton: Mm-hm. Claude Littner: You've got no right to be here, because you're feeding on someone else's idea, someone else's business. (pause) You're a parasite! Jordan Poulton: Can I defend myself before I leave? Claude Littner:Frankly, I think this interview is terminated. You can leave now."
"Luisa Zissman: I'd rather give birth again than do this."
"Lord Sugar: What do you make of Jordan? His business plan was something to do with an "immersive mobile experience." I thought that was when you dropped your phone in the loo or something."
"Jordan Poulton: (said without pausing for breath) From the age I can remember I’ve always felt like I was more intelligent than everyone else and I got things faster than everyone else and I knew that there was something I could do with that ability that would be meaningful and I have this ability inside me that I don’t even at times know what to do with and so I figured that business is the way you get success in the modern world so why don’t I just try to learn as much about that and I’m sure eventually I’ll be able to do something that shows everybody I’m able. Claudine Collins (apparently paying scant regard): ‘I’m going to move on."
"Claude Littner: There are large, well establish companies in that space. Neil Clough: Absolutely, yeah. Claude Littner: They're going to go to their market leader. Neil Clough: I'm going to compete with that! Claude Littner:But you've got no chance! Neil Clough: I have! Claude Littner: No you don't! Neil Clough: I definitely have! Claude Littner:The market's full. Neil Clough:I absolutely believe in my plan! I don't know whether I've been explaining it clearly... Claude Littner: No, you're explaining it clearly. I hope I'm explaining it clearly how, how just ludicrous the whole idea is. Neil Clough: It's something I know so... Claude Littner: Something you know? That's crap!"
"Mike Soutar: I think what I'm hearing is, the guy who sits there who has no self doubt. Who has to believe this will work. Neil Clough: I know how to make it successful, and you're gonna keep hearing me say it because I truly believe that! Mike Soutar: And you're gonna keep, hearing me say; I think you're in trouble with this business plan."
"Margaret Mountford: "A lady with a brain like Einstein..." and who got a C,D, and E in her AS levels. Luisa Zissman: Yeah, I flunked my AS levels. Margaret Mountford: You said that "people look at me and see that I'm a bimbo with hair extensions, fake b***s and nails." Luisa Zissman: Yeah...(withering look from Margaret) Obviously that comment was very tongue in cheek. Margaret Mountford: Do you think it's sensible to put tongue in cheek comments, when you're completing an application form with a view to someone making a quarter of a million pound investment? Luisa Zissman: I don't think there's anything wrong with having a bit of personality in business. (Margaret glares)"
"Margaret Mountford: You studied the greats in human history, and cherry-picked their knowledge and as a result of that your role model is David Beckham? Jordan Poulton: I stand by that! Margaret Mountford: (wryly) Yes..."
"Lord Sugar: I am bitterly disappointed with your business proposal. I know that ten weeks ago when I first met you, I just flipped through all of you very, very quickly, "What's your idea?"...and you said something about estate agents. But it don't work and I'm shocked. I tell you, I am totally, absolutely shocked, because if I didn't care about you, if I didn't think you was any good, I couldn't care less to be honest. Yeah? It don't work. it don't make sense. Neil Clough: It does. It does make sense. This is a business plan that isn't just off the back of a fag packet. I have thought it through and it's a simple plan... Lord Sugar: You have not thought it through. Neil, don't dig yourself a bigger hole, mate. 'Cos that ain't been thought through. Neil Clough: I believe in that business plan. I also believe in my self ability that I can drive that to make a success. Lord Sugar: It is a shame, it is a shame that you're still sitting here, believing in it. Neil Clough: I'm asking for the opportunity to do it. Lord Sugar: I know, but I might as well put that £250,000 into a slot machine, right? I may as well just stand on London Bridge and chuck it over London Bridge. Honestly, that's how bad it is. Neil Clough: I believe that this is the one that I know I can make a success. Lord Sugar: No, you can't. Neil, Neil, stop saying that. You can't. You cannot. It does not work, mate. Me, I would not have a bat in hell's chance of starting from scratch in this business. There, that's how good it is! It's sickening for me to sit here and that that someone that has been as powerful as you ends up the right man, you know, but the wrong plan. It's disheartening for me, yeah? And you won't move away from it, Neil. Neil Clough: I'm absolutely convinced that I can make a success of the business and I just wanted that opportunity. Lord Sugar: No, no, no, no, you can't mate, I'm sorry. You can't. Neil, if this was all about giving someone a job, I'd give you a job tomorrow, right? But coming into business with me, I'm afraid not, my friend. I'm sorry. I'm disappointed and I'm sure even Nick and Karren will be disappointed, but Neil, it is with regret that I have to say to you that..you're fired. Neil Clough: (showing defeat) Okay, thank you for the opportunity."
"Claudine Collins: (to Jordan) I have to say, you talk about yourself a lot as being an entrepreneur. Are you really? It just seems you jump onto other people's ideas."
"Claudine Collins: You state in here that you and your partner compliment each other perfectly. So you already have a partner?"
"Steven Ugoalah: I have an amazing idea for Lord Sugar that's going to make him a fortune and is going to change the world. I'm not arrogant, 'cause what I'm saying is all true."
"Lord Sugar: Scott, can you tell me what you were doing on this task? Because I've had some reports back that, never mind the bleeding Wolf of Wall Street, you're more like the bloody Poodle of Petticoat Lane."
"Lord Sugar: (on Steven) He is an irritant, there's no question of it, right? But it's not really a reason for placing the blame on a person like that-- Steven Ugoalah: (interrupting Sugar) Exactly! Exactly. Lord Sugar: Steven, may I respectfully say to you, SHUT UP!"
"Steven Ugoalah:If I was you I would turn around and go and get the shirts. Chiles Cartwright:I appreciate your comments, I've made a decision. And I can't understand what comments like that are helping to the situation. Steven Ugoalah: I have been helping! Had we gone to Goddard's which took five minutes walk from that T-Shirt shop, this wouldn't have happened! Chiles Cartwright: Steven, get a grip! Mark Wright: Alright pack it in, if you're gonna complain, at least let us do something!"
"Lord Sugar:Daniel, what is your opinion about who is responsible for the failure of this task? Daniel Lassman: I don't want to dig anyone out but it has to be Steven. (stunned look from Lord Sugar) Lord Sugar: It does?!"
"Felipe Alviar-Baquero: We had a team that Chiles was managing which had a very disruptive character. Lord Sugar: Who was that? Felipe Alviar-Baquero: Steven. Lord Sugar: You're saying that Steven was disruptive and that's one of the reasons for the failure of the task? Felipe Alviar-Baquero: I believe that it is the main reason... Lord Sugar: The main reason?!"
"Lindsay Booth: Was that your sale? Sarah Dales: That was my sale. Lindsay Booth: Right, then you can help with coffees then. Sarah Dales: No. because I'm project manager I'm afraid. I'm actually managing this whole task."
"Robert Goodwin: We agreed as a team to create gourmet hot-dogs that are exciting, creative and very Shoreditch. Lord Sugar: I'm not interested in all this Shoreditch, Yuppy, arty-farty bollocks!"
"Lord Sugar: (After hearing Steven's reasons for the failure of the task) Alright, I don't want to hear the rest of the Magna Carta."
"Lord Sugar: (to the initial candidates) This year, I'm going to start things off a bit differently. (Lord Sugar picks up the phone and calls his receptionist) Can you send the other candidates in, please? (Shocked look from Roisin. The boardroom doors open and four more candidates, Sarah, Pamela, Scott and Sanjay join the other candidates)"
"Lord Sugar: [To Team Summit on their product] I think even the shoplifters would bring it back."
"Scott McCulloch: Dan's shouting at me, James is shouting at me, You're shouting at me, You're shouting at me. What do you want me to do?"
"Nick Hewer: (to the camera after Robert's refusal to step up as project manager) You need to be a very brave man to actually ignore pretty firm instructions from Lord Sugar. But my word! Robert shirked that within seconds!"
"Lord Sugar: (immediately after Team Summit's loss has been announced) I've got the feeling that there's going to be a lot of finger-pointing at one particular individual, Robert, for not taking up the project manager's position. It'd be an easy way out, for everybody to be saying "Robert this, Robert that," so I'm going to make this much easier for everyone. Robert, I don't like people who bottle out. So Robert, You're Fired! Robert Goodwin: Thank you Lord Sugar. (Robert gets up and leaves and sits in reception) Lord Sugar: You will go off now and you will have a chat among yourselves. Come back in here and we will discuss what's gone wrong on this particular task. And at least another one of you will be fired. Off you go. (The rest of the mean leave the boardroom and say goodbye to Robert.) Lord Sugar: I'm not even gonna mess about. This kind of deadwood is out, as soon as possible."
"Lord Sugar: Scott, who are you going to bring back into this boardroom? Scott McCulloch: It's quite an even split I would say, (confused look from Lord Sugar) I had a good idea with regards to my industry, my skill set and I wanted to understand... Lord Sugar: Yeah, I'm not hearing any names here... Karren Brady: Scott, if you spent less time covering your arse and more time answering questions, we might get some names for Lord Sugar! Scott McCulloch: I'm gonna bring back in Daniel and Solomon. (Daniel scoffs Scott's choice) Lord Sugar: Daniel and Solomon. Daniel Lassman: 'Cause James just said it. Lord Sugar: The rest of you, need to take a good long look at yourselves because at the moment you are a total shambles! A complete and utter shambles!"
"Lord Sugar: Daniel, one of your day jobs is pub quizzes so here's a question. What's the point of a pitch meeting? Answer: To get orders."
"Scott McCulloch: I'm putting this back on you guys, right? Done! (Stunned look from Nick Hewer)"
"Lord Sugar: (To James in the firing line) Just shut up for a minute. James Hill: Definitely, Lord Sugar. Lord Sugar: You can't shut up now!"
"Lord Sugar:[after watching Summit's video]I suppose you guys think that's funny. James, when you sent in your CV, you said you got no qualifications? You got your first qualification because you come across as a grade-A pillock"
"Lord Sugar: (To Sarah on her credentials as a hypnotherapist) ...Erectile dysfunction...Don't look her in the eyes, Nick."
"(The phone rings at the candidates house) Mark Wright: Hello? (Mark answers the phone whilst the other candidates crowd round him, he beckons two or three of the candidates to be quiet) Hi, Lord Sugar. (Shocked looks from the candidates) Lord Sugar: (over the phone) This is just to remind you that you may waiting for some of your colleagues to come back from the boardroom. Well, they're not coming back. I've let all three of them go today. (shocked look from Sanjay whilst everyone else looks stunned) I've been telling you all along that I'm not gonna put up with any dead wood in this process, and today demonstrates that quite clearly. Okay?"
"(after Sarah, Steven and Ella Jade are sent outside) Lord Sugar: Do you know? Ella Jade, she can talk okay? She's highly educated, and I wonder whether she's ever actually done a day's work in her life. And Steven, well, what is it about him? Karren Brady: People ignore him, because it's actually far easier to ignore Steven than to spend so long listening to him get to the point. Lord Sugar: Yeah. Quite clearly of the whole team, they've got it in for Sarah. Nick Hewer: When she pipes up, people tell her to pipe down. Karren Brady: The question is, does she actually have anything worthwhile to say?"
"(in the first triple firing (outside the interviews) Steven insists that he wants to be the next project manager. Lord Sugar on the other hand...) Lord Sugar: You're not going to be the next project manager because I think you are a lost cause in this process. Steven, you're fired. (Steven goes quiet and gets up to leave) Steven Ugoalah: Thank you Lord Sugar. (Steven leaves. Sarah and Ella Jade remain seated) Lord Sugar: Ella, I made you the project manager in a task which was the nearest to what you want to do with me when we go into business. And you failed. Ella-Jade Bitton: No... Lord Sugar: And it's an unforgivable... Ella-Jade Bitton: (thinking she is next to go) Please Lord Sugar... Lord Sugar: Sarah, there is no smoke without fire. The reason why people always make you the timekeeper is because people don't seem to have much confidence in you. And if people don't have much confidence in you, I'm wondering why I should have confidence in you as a business partner. (Sarah's face falls) Sarah, you're fired. Sarah Dales: (as she gets up to leave) Thank you for the opportunity. (Sarah leaves leaving Ella-Jade alone) Lord Sugar: I got to get on with this process with the candidates, some very, very good candidates that are left. Let's get rid of the no hopers, no chance. Don't waste my time. Ella-Jade Bitton: I understand that Lord Sugar. I have the absolute hunger to learn from this and improve... Lord Sugar: (paying little attention) Yeah... Ella Jade Bitton: I'm really passionate about this process. I will do my absolute ultimate aim to prove to you that I can be your business partner. Lord Sugar: Yeah, the thing is, I'm afraid to say... Ella Jade Bitton: Please Lord Sugar. Please... Lord Sugar: You do not have... Ella-Jade Bitton: I do. I promise you I do. Please let me stay... Lord Sugar: Ella... Ella-Jade Bitton: Please, let me... Lord Sugar: You're Fired. (Ella-Jade however refuses to leave) Ella-Jade Bitton: Please let me stay Lord Sugar... Lord Sugar: Yeah, I'm sorry. You are fired. I wish you well. (Ella-Jade starts to leave but refuses to give in and faces Lord Sugar one last time.) Ella-Jade Bitton: Please Lord Sugar, I promise you. I promise you I will learn from this. I promise you Lord Sugar. Lord Sugar: Yeah, there's no, I've made my decision okay? You're Fired. (Finally, Ella-Jade gives in and leaves the boardroom) Lord Sugar: (after the boardroom is empty) I've been in business long enough to work out the people who had no chance of becoming my business partner and those three certainly had no chance."
"Lord Sugar: (to Tenacity) The only way you lot are going viral is if you kiss someone with the bloody flu!"
"(At the end of the internal review, Lord Sugar sends the rest of Tenacity back to the house leaving Ella-Jade, Steven and Sarah alone) Lord Sugar: Get ready, to defend your positions in this process. (in the end he got rid of all three of them)"
"(After Summit win the task and are on the treat, they toast to themselves in one of the volcanic baths) James Hill: Has anyone done a wee yet?"
"Lord Sugar: (to James) If Anne Boleyn's neck had been as thick as you are, she might still be alive."
"Daniel Lassman: (on the treat) How's this a treat?!"
"Daniel Lassman: (to Mark) When you smell blood, you give us a silly football analogy."
"Daniel Lassman: I know you like your football analogies, Mark. Well, sometimes a good Number 2 doesn't make a good Number 1 and you've yet to prove that."
"Lauren Riley: You've heard why we failed and none of it was me. None of it was me! Mark Wright: Yeah, none of it WAS you! That's why you're sat here."
"(Felipe becomes tearful up on seeing the advert his team has made) Lauren Riley: Awww, come here Felipe. (Lauren and Felipe embrace) They'll be proud of you and what you've done. Felipe Alviar-Baquero: I just feel so proud of what we have done."