"And this is the Declaration of Independence. Can you read that? "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain [i]nalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.—That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed." We're real proud of that."

"You mean officially he's here unofficially."

"Okay. Okay, now, who can we get to go talk to the girl and impress her? Come on, let's think, there must be someone—someone who's reasonably good-natured, has a reasonably high TVQ, and absolutely nothing important to do."

"I'd like to tell everybody in America that this is absolutely the best place to come if you're ever shot in the ass."

"I'm not yelling, I'm just speaking distinctly!"

"Oh, don't jump on the nice Mr. Vice President."

"Now, you know, I never read the—the Constitution. This'll be fun for all of us, won't it?"

"No, dear, I'm not a chicken; I'm an emu."

"He was cursing in at least four languages."

"Look, the car is temporarily out of order and it'll be ready in a minute, I swear."

"There's something funny going on in Washington. Goldie's about to become a diplomat."

"Allison Janney - Miss Walsh"

"Robert Klein - Norman Asher"

"J. C. Quinn - Uncle Charlie"

"Rob Reiner - Izzy Rosenblatt"

"Ben L. Jones - Arlen Sporken"

"Mykelti Williamson - Dewayne Smith"

"Gia Carides - Cashmere McLeod"

"Robert Cicchini - Jimmy Ozio"

"Bill Maher - himself"

"Tony Shalhoub - Eddie Reyes"

"John Vargas - Lorenzo Delgado"

"Sophia Choi - herself"

"Robert Easton - Dr. Beauregard"

"Larry King - himself"

"Chelcie Ross - Charlie Martin"

"Tommy Hollis - William "Fat Willie" McCollister"

"Larry Hagman - Governor Fred Picker"

"Stacy Edwards - Jennifer Rogers"

"Paul Guilfoyle - Howard Ferguson"

"Kathy Bates - Libby Holden"

"Maura Tierney - Daisy Green"

"Diane Ladd - Mamma Stanton"

"Emma Thompson - Susan Stanton"

"Adrian Lester - Henry Burton"

"John Travolta - Gov./President Jack Stanton"

"How Much Spin Does It Take To Win?"

"Billy Bob Thornton - Richard Jemmons"

"Kevin Cooney - Senator Lawrence Harris"

"Comes The Story Of A Man Who Says Yes To Destiny But Couldn't Say No To Anything Else"

"Comes The Story Of A Man Of The People And The People Who Made In The Man"

"They're Not Exactly A Well Organized Well-Oiled Machine, But That's Their Secret."

"[while watching Shane] Come back, Shane. Run for president."

"I'm not comparing the players. I don't like the game."

"What went down on the way to the top."

"[holding a gun to a political adversary's crotch] I am a gay lesbian woman — I do not mythologize the male sexual organ. I know you did it. It wasn't enough sticking with the crap Jack actually did — you had to get creative! Well, mister, you're about to become missus!"

"Rebecca Walker - March Cunningham"

"[about Jack Stanton] He's poked his pecker in some sorry trash bins."

"He was born to run."

"Geraldo Rivera - himself"