"The history of art is largely about the implementation of masculinity.That is such bullshit.Part of some Darwinian imperative. Most artists become artists because they have no way to attract a mate. I hardly think I'm the first to point out that the vast preponderance of artists are, shall we say physiologically deficient in some way."

"Travis Walck as Richard Natwick"

"Ethan Suplee as Vince"

"Matt Keeslar as Jonah"

"Paul Collins as Professor David Zipkin"

"Anjelica Huston as Art History Teacher"

"Max Minghella as Jerome"

"Sophia Myles as Audrey"

"Michael Lerner as Art Dealer"

"Edith Jefferson as Doddering Aunt"

"Jeff LeBeau as Lawyer"

"Marie L. Bain as Helena Sandiford"

"Jerome, are you exceptionally skilled as a cocksucker? It wasn't a rhetorical question. Are you a great artist when it comes to fellatio?"

"[Holding up clay pipe] This is ready for the kiln."

"[Outside with Jerome in the campus quad and Bardo observes a girl across from them] The only trouble with that is: all those beatnik chicks are totally insane. Look. What you really want is a nice, innocent, suburban girl. Some freshman chick who hasn't been corrupted yet."

"I know you're a genius, but I'm a genius too."

"Ozman Sirgood as Dad Platz (as Osman Soykut)"

"Shut up. Look. There's really only one question any of you want to ask: you want to know what it would take to turn you into me. Well, listen closely, 'cause I'm gonna give you the answer. In order to be a great artist, you simply have to *be* a great artist. There's nothing to learn. So... you're all wasting your time. Go home."

"Katija Pevec as Cynthia Platz"

"Nympho: [To Jerome] I just want you to know I definitely don't have AIDS. I mean, I've been tested like 40 times so I know for a fact. [Baby starts crying] Keep the fucking kid quiet, you motherfucking asshole! [To Jerome] It's just my old man."

"Marshall Bell as Lonny"

"Chris McKenna as Mikey (as Chris L. McKenna)"

"John Malkovich as Professor Sandiford"

"Jim Broadbent as Jimmy"

"Marc Vann as Kevin"

"Brian Turk as Cliffy"

"Roxanne Day as Jonah's Wife - Marie"

"Jerome's date girl: [Playing with stuffed animals with Jerome in her apartment] Stay out of that cave, Koala Bear. There's snakes and bats. Don't be silly, Pepper. I'm not afraid of a little snake."

"Roxanne Hart as Mom Platz"

"Walter Sparrow - Crazy Pete"

"Brendan Fraser - Vietnam veteran"

"Thora Birch - Teeny"

"Ashleigh Aston Moore - Chrissy"

"Devon Sawa - Scott Wormer"

"Bonnie Hunt - Mrs. DeWitt"

"We all used to try so hard to fit in. We wanted to look exactly alike, do all the same things, practically be the same person, but when we weren't looking that all changed. The treehouse was supposed to bring us more independence, but what the summer actually brought was independence from each other."