"you can't open your mouth if your your tongue is out...try it...you can do it but you look like a dog...you laugh at yourself and your smiling because you know that you have been tricked"

"[playing poker] Read ‘em and weep. And then tell me what they are."

"Hello Blue Bird, this is Mr. Fabulous, we are go for cheesing it!"

"Hehehe. Quit touching my junk, pervert!!!!!!"

"Say, speaking of whatever the hell you just said, I need to make a cell phone telephone call. Can I borrow your cell phone telephone?"

"[last full line of the four-movie sequence] Into the breach meatbags...or not. Whatever."

"[when dressed as a hooker as a distraction] Why hello boys [gets shot] Your eyes say no, but your machine gun fire says [gets shot more]"

"[when trying to bend a brick wall] Granted, it's not on the list of approved bendables, but I'm... so... great!"

"It's not all about money; although I would like much much more."

"Leela's not just a chick, she's the chick I love. But don't tell her I called her a 'chick,' or she'll kill me."

"Bite my shiny metal hat!"

"Stop making your point so ineffectively!"

"Six, seven, eight; lock the gate. One, two, three; turn the key. Thirty, fifty, ten; my dirty shifty friend?"

"Where are you? And me?"

"Richard Nixon's head: The one thing no-one suspects is that I really did stage the moon landing...on Venus! Aroo! [laughes evilly]"

"Snoop Dogg: Naked ladies, Naked ladies, Naked ladies, Naked ladies."

"Leela: Zoidberg, I’m very surprised at you slightly."

"Amy: Oh no! A rooster! That indicates it’s the following morning!"

"Scruffy: Life goes on, but I believe we'll forever carry the pain on the inside. [turns the page of his Play-Boy-Ar-Dee magazine] Mm-hmm."

"Zoidberg: Ah, I hate to see it come to an end. [as career chip is taken out] Yee! When will it end!?"

"Zoidberg: Say, what's that violet-coloured dwarf-like star-thing we're drifting towards?"

"Donbot: You see this gun? [crumbles it] That's what I'm going to do to him if he wins."

"Donbot: Now, I am suspicious."

"I brought you a cabbage to snack on. Humans like cabbages, right?"

"Hermes: (selecting a neck protector from the Professor's supply) I'll take two. My neck is huge."

"Amy: Oh, Kif! This is just like a movie with this happening in it!"

"Stephen Hawking: [after shooting lasers out of his eyes] I didn't know I could do that."

"Zapp Brannigan: Ever since man first left his cave and met a stranger with a different language and a new way of looking at things, the human race has had a dream: to kill him, so we don't have to learn his language or his new way of looking at things."

"Yivo: Hey, butt out. This is between me and everyone in existence."

"Richard Nixon: Aroo! Those tentacles are coming to earth and there's no stopping it! King Kong's too old to save us this time!"

"Linda: [in panic] They're coming! Those horrible, horrible things are coming! [calmly] Morbo?"

"Kif: Perhaps you should see the meaning of "Fonfon Ru"! It means one who doesn't sleep with my superior officer. That's the literal translation!"

"Hedonism Bot: It seems Bender hates humans the way I hate having my nipples polished with industrial sand paper."

"Destructor: Did you know their hair just keeps growing and growing? MY LEG FEELS FUNNY!"

"Professor Farnsworth: Less invasions, more equations!"

"Oh, don't mind him. I'll turn him off."

"This isn't heaven! It just looks exactly like it and makes us immortal! Which I find suspicious."

"Bender knows love, and love doesn't share itself with the world. Love is suspicious, love is needy. Love is fearful, love is greedy. My friends, there is no great love without great jealousy! I love you meatbags!"

"If robots can't go to heaven, heaven can come to us!"

"Weren't you already pope of somethin'?"