"Logan Ramsey - Officer Faye Lapid"

"Annette Funicello - Teresa/Minnie"

"[chanted in unison] Hey hey we are the Monkees, you know we aim to please. A manufactured image with no philosophies."

"Hey, hey, we are The Monkees; We've said it all before; The money's in, we're made of tin; we're here to give you mor…"

"Well, let me tell you one thing son. Nobody ever lends money to a man with a sense of humor."

"[choosing Sonny Liston to box against] Great, I'll have a go at him. You won't hurt my face, will ya? Million dollar …"

"Okay. You think they call us plastic now, babe, but wait 'til I get through telling them how we do it."

"Anyway, the idea is this: byproducts. Imagine Italians. Blonde wigs for kids! Swords! The whole phallic thing is happ…"

"'Atta boy, Mike. 'Atta boy. 'Atta boy, Mike. 'Atta boy, Mike."

"Timothy Carey - Lord High 'n' Low"