"RANK, n. Relative elevation in the scale of human worth."

"KING, n. A male person commonly known in America as a "crowned head," although he never wears a crown and has usually…"

"REVERENCE, n. The spiritual attitude of a man to a god and a dog to a man."

"APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find that the creature has long been dead, …"

"Optimist, n. A proponent of the doctrine that black is white."

"Bore, n. A person who talks when you wish him to listen."

"Capital, n. The seat of misgovernment."

"Hers, pron. His."

"Ambition, n. An overmastering desire to be vilified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead."

"Virtues, n. pl. Certain abstentions."