"Emma: Maybe if rock-climbing required a directional pad, you'd be more willing. Oh, maybe we can find a video game that lets us pretend to be out doing something exciting."

"Zeke: Relax, I'm not going to squash your skull with a single hand or anything like that."

"Ethan: Phone, pillow says he'll suffocate me if you don't shut the hell up. I'm being held hostage by the bed linens. My life is in your hands, phone."

"Ethan: Books are only for deaf and blind people that can't enjoy movies."

"Lucas: A gaming religion, eh? That sounds like another excuse to wear a silly hat and get himself or our personal belongings broken."

"Mickey: I've never sarcasmed someone into a coma before, but I'm up for the challenge."

"Ethan: That's the 'idiot tax'. It's our fee for having to put up with your stupid questions."

"Ethan: This is five liters, man. That's like a hundred of our American gallons."

"Zeke: This is all backwards. Humans are supposed to be my bitches."

"Home Depot Employee: Yep, I've got just what you're looking for. This is our Colombian Drug Lord series of balcony railings and window frames. They all come equipped with stylish tie-hooks for easy access should you, your family, or a raiding law enforcement agency want to rappel down to a lower level instead of using the stairs. No villa hideout should be without them!"

"Ethan: A talking, flying bottle of booze? Great, I've fucking snapped."

"Ethan: And yet, if I were to sneak in at night and plant an axe into your skull, I would go to jail. How is that justice?!"

"Lucas: No! Fuck you! I am NOT downloading 160GB of porn for you!"

"Ethan: See, you're cute. You can't be a cute girl and play video games. This would tear the fabric of the universe."

"Grisham J. Hardbottle, P.I.: Like a tree, cut down in its prime, I was stumped."

"Ethan: A part of me has died today. It's all Britney Spears' fault."

"Lucas: "...And then every single one of my brain cells cried out in joyful unison, that they would be spared further torment at the hands of this fucknut-saturated environment.""

"n00b: Wut buttun is fly up?/"

"Leo: It's about those alien face huggers. They clamp to your face and implant their babies into your stomach, right?"

"Leo: GAWD, it's SO hot out. Hot like my butt, which really isn't that hot. No. Not with that face growing out of it. If you touch it you can see the future. You know like that Total Recall Movie. Only totally not! They ripped me off. Would you like to see the future?"

"Leo: Spare monies for a noob?..Heal plz?..How I mine for fish?"

"Narrator: Finally...You can't hurt da Blob! Well not physically anyway."

"Edward Elric: At last we've found it, Al. The Philosopher.."

"Aeris: Oh bloody hell, [my iPod's] frozen again? I just bought this!"

"Edward Elric: Al… I'm going to transplant Mom's tulips."

"Will Wright: So it's got butts for eyes?"

"Robot: Brave citizens of the land, fear not! The Republic of Morskoj has come to liberate you!"

"Aeris: Check out that gear. [Points to armour on wall rack.] It's a huge defense boost."

"Koopa: All the king requires is this. A simple offering of earth and water. A token offering of submission to the will of Koopa."

"Leo: Wow! What an amazing and high detail error screen. You sure did get your money's worth on this..."

"Aeris: I've taken heavy losses and the Zerg have us pinned. If your reinforcements don't make it here soon it's all over!"

"Pit from Kid Icarus: You know I was this close to getting into Smash Bros. It's all politics really..."

"Mahoh no supekutoru! (Japanese for 'magical spectrum'.)"

"The El Goonish Shive Wiki"

"El Goonish Shive: Newspaper"

"El Goonish Shive Sketchbook (was Filler)"

"El Goonish Shive"

"Tedd Makes a Sexy Bride. Yeah, I said It."

"Love Cares Not for the Woes of Logic."

"None Can Stand Alone Against a Septet of Puppy Eyes!"

"By 'Get a Room', They Mean... Play Board Games! Yes... Board Games..."

"Duck-Like Distractive Powers of a Meddling Moment-Breaking Sarah."

"If There's More to this Comic than Happy Naked Nanase, I'm Too Distracted to Notice."

"A Party Just Isn't a Party without Notes."

"The Nerve of Her Being Likeable!"

"Tedd, the Insecure Don Juan."

"Waking Up with a Squirrel in One's Face is Normally a Bad Thing."

"Holy Skimpy Kitty! What Program Are They Using?"

"Suspension of Disbelief #967--Being Morphed by a Beam of Energy Is Good For You."