Stunt Performance Films

"Edward "Rake Yohn" Webb as Self"

"With stuff you'd never see on TV"

"The following stunts were performed by professionals, so neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt anything from this movie."

"Knoxville knocked my nuts in half!"

"This is the Muscle Simulator."

"I have bad news written all over me."

"I'm here with Eric Koston and Clyde Singleton and today I'm gonna 50-50 this rail and... or try to."

"Whose dick do I gotta suck to get some explosions around here?"

"[After waking Phil up with fire works] Hey Phil, you know you have to get up at 5 in the morning tonight."

"Hi, I'm Johnny Knoxville, welcome to Jackass!"

"This is Sweaty Fat Fucks. [Tony Hawk and Mat Hoffman hit Bam in the testicles]"

"[Referring to father Phil's obesity] Look at Phil's tummy."

"[About the upset customer in the store] He was so bummed! He went there to buy QTips and he just got bummed because there was a fight going on!"

"[After getting a surprise haircut] Eh! What the fuck!"

"[Referring to proceed with a boxing match with Naoko Kumagai, a female Japanese kickboxer] I'm about to get the shit kicked out of me by a girl."

"[From extended footage, on phone] How much does Rake hate mustard? [To cameraman] This is Rake's mom and she says I wouldn't be able to have children in my future."

"Rectal bleeding... another first for Jackass."

"If your asshole can't see the camera, the camera can't see you asshole."

"It's gonna hurt a lot, but it's just loud."

"[After getting shot by riot explosive] Is this okay? [Points to face] Then we're good."

"Okay, who brought crabs to the party? [Laughs] One of the guys had crabs!"

"[After taking a fall] My head stopped my body from getting really hurt on that."

"[Preparing Steve-O for the butt chug] I'm staring right down Main Street and it's not looking any good at all."

"This is REALLY gonna suck!"

"[After Steve-O does the butt chug] He's peeing like a girl!"

"[While gagging after Pontius drinking horse semen] I never puke ever, and I really almost puked then."

"[Just before the second attempt at "big red rocket"] Even if the rocket doesn't blow up on me this time, there's really not a lot of great ways for it to end, anyway."

"Please God, don't let there be a "Jackass 3". I don't even like 2!"

"[Regarding the Riot Control Test] If Knoxville goes in there... I'll french-kiss him."

"[After getting shot by riot explosive] I'm crying. I'm a fucking skateboarder, I don't get shot!"

"[After the Yak Charge] That couldn't have gone any better. I didn't know Knoxville could do back flips."

"[Doing the gluteus cattle-branding skit] Here we are at some random-ass ranch and this is the Brand. And it's gonna suck!"

"Can somebody make a dick run?"

"We're here at April and Phil's house and I'm gonna present them the branded dick on my butt. No let me rephrase that, DICKS!"

"[Johnny Knoxville is about to be launched in the air] I'm scared just watching him, I want a Lance helmet!"

"It's time to play a game with a bunch of these medicine balls, and they're heavy as shit!"

"[Before plunging Steve-O] You better shit piss, asswipe!"

"You fuckers are asses! I don't trust anybody!"

"Knoxville is gonna see what the moon looks like!"

"[After completing Medicine Ball Dodgeball] That was fun. Let's never do that again."

"I can't believe I'm fishing for sharks with Steve-O as my bait! It's like a dream come true!"

"[After sticking a fish hook through Steve-O's mouth] Oh, man. That hurt to do that to you."

"[While fishing for sharks, using Steve-O as bait] Dude, isn't this movie supposed to be a comedy?"

"I'm so glad I'm not the star of this movie."

"[After drinking the horse semen] I'm ashamed of myself. I really am. I'm completely ashamed of myself."

"Water-based lubricants, friend or foe? You be the judge."

"[After Wee Man and Preston go bungee jumping off the bridge] That was intense, really intense. Well, not really intense, but pretty intense."

"Hey Ehren, maybe after this movie you'll finally lose your virginity."

"[After getting fired out of a street sewer in a devil costume in DTLA] Keep God outta California! Whoo! Tell Charlie Daniels to write a song about this! God is out! He can have the other 48... or 49... whatever..."

"[After Matt Hoffman attempts to launch over a ditch, imagined as the "English Channel" on his bicycle] He didn't even make it to Germany!"