Stunt Performance Films

"Dick pain hurts."

"Okay. There's enough meat there."

"It ain't a bunch of NASA scientists over here, you know what I mean? This ain't a MENSA convention."

"I'm Poopies... big-time movie star. And today, we're big wave surfing."

"This is so fucked up! I knew this was gonna fucking happen! Why the fuck did we go down to the basement?"

"I'm kinda embarrassed right now. Like, I came out of his penis. Hood card taken away."

"You look scareder than me and this is yo shit!"

"The following stunts were performed by professionals, so neither you nor your dumb buddies should attempt anything from this movie."

"Chris "Raab Himself" Raab as Self"

"April Margera as Self"

"Edward "Rake Yohn" Webb as Self"

"Preston Lacy as Self"

"Brandon "Bam" Margera as Self"

"Chris Pontius as Self"

"Dave England as Self"

"With stuff you'd never see on TV"

"This is designed to fuck you up!"

"Now you're getting crazy with this shit. Ape! He's starting to lose it! Jesus Christ! Ape! I need toilet paper!"

"Christian, motherfucker!"

"[Puts the "Muscle Stimulator" on crotch] Right, let's zap my nuts."

"[Playing with a string attached to his penis] Hi. I'm Johnny Knoxville. Welcome to Jackass."

"I'm Raab Himself and I'm a complete fucking idiot."

"[After being swatted by a wild puma cat while wearing a foam rubber mouse costume] I don't like him. He's mean."

"[To Tokyo fortune telling senior man] Wait a minute. I already know my fortune, it's partying! [Rips off tracksuit and starts dancing causing the fortune teller to run out of the booth]"

"[Referring to bungee wedgie] This is like worse than a hanging."

"[Acting like an old man on a scooter] You're a nice man. Would you like to come over for dinner?"

"Hit me once at least. [Johnny Knoxville lightly face punches Butterbean] There ya go. [Butterbean full-on face punches Knoxville unconscious]"

"[About to receive a tattoo with both wrists taped in an off-road buggy] My name is Henry Rollins and this is Off-Road Tattoo!"

"Hi, I'm Bunny the Lifeguard, any of these alligators try to ruin our swimming, I'm gonna wrestle them down, and probably have my way with them."

"Stephen "Steve-O" Glover as Self"

"Ryan Dunn as Self"

"Jason "Wee Man" Acuña as Self"

"Ehren McGhehey as Self"

"Brandon DiCamillo as Self"

"Phil Margera as Self"

"Jess Margera as Self"

"I'm Weeman and this is a big cone."

"I can't believe he got that far!"

"Dude they're telling me the parasites in there can fucking crawl through your anything like even my dick hole, I'm like so I wanted to put like a rubber on, but no one has a rubber. Dude fucking after all that pussy and my dick goes down because of this shit"

"I am so glad I turned this idea down."

"[While preparing the wasabi to snort it] Chopsticks are so stupid!"

"[After firing rockets out of anus] Like, an ember fell right on my cornhole, dude!"

"[Preparing to pole-vault into a septic river] Yeah, I've fucking been there before, dudes. It sucks."

"[Referring to getting a full tattoo on back of himself giving both thumbs up] Yeah dude!"

"That's Danger Ehren, a.k.a. "Who?" and that's Dave England, a.k.a. "Why?""

"Oh fuck, I feel like I have to shit my ass!"

"[After many failed intro attempts, sigh] Goddamn, this is the BMX tug-of-war."

"[Acting like an old man on a scooter] You're nice, you’re a kind man. Would you like to come over for dinner?"

"Ryan Dunn: I could sure go for a Miller High Life..."

"Knoxville knocked my nuts in half!"