"Vogon Constructor Fleets. Here is what to do if you want to get a lift from a Vogon: forget it. They are one of the most unpleasant races in the Galaxy—not actually evil, but bad-tempered, officious and callous. They wouldn't even lift a finger to save their own grandmothers from the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal without orders signed in triplicate, sent in, sent back, queried, lost, found, subjected to public inquiry, queried, lost again, and finally buried in soft peat for three months and recycled as firelighters. "The best way to get a drink out of a Vogon is to stick your finger down his throat, and the best way to irritate him is to feed his grandmother to the Ravenous Bugblatter Beast of Traal. "On no account allow a Vogon to read poetry at you."

"Ford," insisted Arthur, "I don't know if this sounds like a silly question, but what am I doing here?" "Well you know that," said Ford. "I rescued you from the Earth." "And what's happened to the Earth?" "Ah. It's been demolished." "Has it," said Arthur levelly. "Yes. It just boiled away into space." "Look," said Arthur, "I'm a bit upset about that."

"If I asked you where the hell we were," said Arthur weakly, "would I regret it?" Ford stood up. "We're safe," he said. "Oh good," said Arthur. "We're in a small galley cabin," said Ford, "in one of the spaceships of the Vogon Constructor Fleet." "Ah," said Arthur, "this is obviously some strange usage of the word safe that I wasn't previously aware of."

"Heavenly days! (Molly McGee)"

"Oh, is that you, Myrt? (Fibber McGee) (Myrt was short for Myrtle in those days.)"

"Jus' doe-natin' my time. (Ole the Janitor)"

"Hello, folks. (Wallace Wimple)"

"Love 'that man! (Beulah)"

"You're a ha-a-ard man, McGee. (Throckmorton P. Gildersleeve)"

"If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all. (Teeny)"

"Gotta Straighten Out That Closet One of these Days.... (Fibber McGee, after long sound-effects sequence of falling objects!)"

""Hello operator? Give me Wistful Vista 2-0-3-Oh is that you, Myrt?" (Myrt, short for Myrtle back then)"

"'Tain't funny, McGee! (Molly McGee)"

""Sweetie Face" (That's my big ol' wife). (Wallace Wimple)"

"That ain't the way I heerd it. (Old-Timer)"

"Hello boys! What can I do for you?"

"No, stop messing about!"

"Go on, be a devil!"

"[having emphatically disagreed with someone] He's right you know..."

"Ooh, you are rotten."

""I wish I were a chestnut tree,"

"I know a bar, where peanuts are,"

"Eyes down for a full house."

"Hiya Tubb!"