"Jason, I want to fuck. For the first time in 40 years, I'm single, and I want to fuck. I want to fuck until my dick falls off. I want to fuck a horse, and I want to drink its blood. I was faithful to your grandmother every day for 40 years, even through the menopause, even through the cancer. She was the love of my life, I'll miss her every goddamn day, but she told me on her death bed, you get back out there again. I haven't had sex in 15 years Jason, and I want to fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck."

"Party till you're pregnant!"

"He looks like Abercrombie fucked Fitch."

"The greatest gift a grandson can give his grandfather is a hot college girl who wants to have unprotected sex with him before he dies."

"Jason Mantzoukas — Pam"

"Jeffrey Bowyer-Chapman — Bradley"

"What did you learn from your grandparents?"

"You're just a dirty, dirty grandpa, and I'm just a girl from Long Island City who likes to fuck old people."

"Julianne Hough — Meredith"

"Dermot Mulroney — David"

"Hayley Mills as Susan Evers-Wyatt/Sharon McKendrick-Grand"

"Barry Bostwick as Jeffrey Wyatt"

"Mary (step-granddaughter)"

"Bill Grand (son-in-law)"

"Sharon Ferris (daughter)"

"Susan (daughter)"

"Nikki (granddaughter)"

"Maggie (wife)"

"Patricia Richardson as Cassie McGuire"

"Bridgette Andersen as Mary Grand"

"Carrie Kei Heim as Nikki Ferris"

"Alex Harvey as Brian Carey"

"Hayley Mills as Susan Carey/Sharon Ferris"

"If their date is half as good as these cookies, we'll be sisters in no time!"

"Tom Skerritt as Bill Grand"

"Gloria Cromwell as Florence"

"Judith Tannen as Jessica Dintroff"

""Passionately yours". That's the way Rob Lowe signs all his letters in Sixteen Magazine."

"Leanna Creel as Lisa Wyatt"

"Lisa, Jessie & Megan (triplet step-granddaughters)"

"Loretta Devine as Thelma"

"Maggie (wife)"

"Sharon Ferris (daughter)"

"Ray Baker as Nick"

"Nikki (granddaughter)"

"Monica Creel as Jessie Wyatt"

"Bill Grand (son-in-law)"

"Joy Creel as Megan Wyatt"

"Mary (step-granddaughter)"

"Susan (daughter)"

"Jeffrey Wyatt (son-in-law)"

"Shannon Elizabeth as Nadia"

"Chuck Hittinger as AJ"

"Chris Owen as Sherman"

"Ali Corbin as Kara"