"[after looking at divorce papers] I better have my lawyer take a look at these. I'm just a simple country boy. There's all kinds of big words in here I can't even pronounce. Hell, you might be takin' me to the cleaners for all I know. [Melanie: The cleaners—you?]"

"[about the divorce papers Melanie wants him to sign] The only reason I ain't signin’ is cause you've turned into some hoity toity Yankee bitch and I'd like nothin’ better right now than to piss you off."

"Honey, just 'cause I talk slow don't mean I'm stupid."

"[final line] Hey, Stella! Make it a slow one."

"[after leaving Andrew at the altar as a thunderstorm is approaching] Hey, y'all! If you're friends of the bride, stick around! I'm gonna go find me a groom!"

"Well for starters, you can get your stubborn ass down here and give me a divorce."

"[Seeing her father in his Confederate uniform, leaving to go to 'battle'] "People need a passport to come down here.""

"[On seeing her father in his Confederate uniform] Christ Almighty, Daddy, how am I gonna explain you in New York?"

"[After punching Kate] Nobody talks to my mama like that! [Earl Smooter: Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!]"

"You're the first boy I ever kissed, Jake, and I want you to be the last."

"The truth is I gave my heart away a long time ago, my whole heart, and I never really got it back."

"[Drunk, at the bar] Oh Bobby Ray....why don't you just go to a gay bar. [Eldon: What would B-Ray do at a gay bar?]"

"Well, you must be Jake's hot date. I'm Melanie, Jake's snotty Yankee bitch wife whom he refuses to divorce even though I'm engaged to another man."

"You dumb stubborn redneck hick."

"[to Lurlynn] Look at you, you have a baby... In a bar. [Lurlynn: Hell, I got 3 more at home! This one’s still on the tit, so I can cart him anywhere.]"

"Dakota Fanning - Young Melanie"

"Thomas Curtis - Young Jake"

"Nathan Lee Graham - Frederick Montana"

"Rhona Mitra - Tabatha Wadmore-Smith, Melanie's best friend from New York"

"Mary Lynn Rajskub - Dorothea"

"Courtney Gains - Wade"

"Melanie Lynskey - Lurlynn, Melanie's best friend"

"Ethan Embry - Bobby Ray Bailey"

"Jean Smart - Stella Kay"

"Fred Ward - Earl Smooter"

"Mary Kay Place - Pearl Smooter"

"Candice Bergen - Mayor Kate Hennings"

"Patrick Dempsey - Andrew Hennings"

"Josh Lucas - Jake Perry"

"Reese Witherspoon - Melanie Smooter/Carmichael"

"Fall... in love."

"Sometimes What You're Looking for Is Right Where You Left It."

"Pearl: How many times does your only daughter get married? [awkward pause] Well, other than the other time."

"Andrew: You married your cousin?"

"[after Melanie punches Kate] Praise the Lord, the South has risen again!"

"Well even if he is a Yankee, at least he's sober."

"[to Kate] Careful, you just smashed the state bird of Alabama."

"You can't ride two horses with one ass, sugarbean."

"[about a pair of handcuffs] Might wanna save those for the honeymoon! [laughs with Frederick Montana before exchanging a look]"

"Well, aren't you just a big fat liar?"

"We weren't aimin' for ya, but I doubt I woulda gone to your funeral."

"You can take the girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl."