"No matter how big a splash you make in this world whether you're Corey Feldman, Frankie Muniz, Justin Bieber, or a talking teddy bear, eventually, nobody gives a shit."

"Now if there's one thing you can be sure of, it's that nothing is more powerful than a young boy's wish. Except an Apache helicopter. An Apache helicopter has machine guns and missiles. It is an unbelievably impressive complement of weaponry, an absolute death machine."

"Merry Christmas, Everybody!"

"Stick your finger in the loop of my tag!"

"Back off, Susan Boyle!"

"Oh, come on! I do not sound that much like Peter Griffin!"

"Ted Danson (uncredited) - himself"

"Robert Wu - Wan Ming/Ming the Merciless"

"Mike Henry - a Southern newscaster"

"Tom Skerritt - himself"

"Norah Jones - herself"

"Ryan Reynolds (uncredited) - Jared"

"Sam J. Jones - himself"

"That doesn't feel South, Charles."

"Never feel sorry for a man who owns a plane"

"Hey... I'm dying. I'm dying and I never did a god damn thing."

"A good plan today is better than a perfect plan tomorrow."

"Just because you're lost doesn't mean to say that your compass is broken."

"What one man can do, another can do!"

"Because today, I'm going to kill the motherfucker!"

"Did you know you can shine shoes with the inside of a banana peel?"

"Bart the Bear - The Kodiak bear"

"Kelsa Kinsly - Reporter"

"Gordon Tootoosis - Jack Hawk"

"Larry Musser - Amphibian Pilot"

"Eli Gabay - Jet Pilot"

"Mark Kiely - The Mechanic"

"David Lindstedt - James"

"Kathleen Wilhoite - Ginny"

"L.Q. Jones - Styles"

"Elle Macpherson - Mickey Morse"

"Harold Perrineau - Steve"

"Alec Baldwin - Robert Green"

"Anthony Hopkins - Charles Morse"

"We're all put to the test... but it never comes in the form or at the point we would prefer, does it?"

"Steve Zahn - Archie"

"Lisa Marie Hugueley - Shamu Trainer"

"Trevor Denman - Horse Race Announcer"

"Googy Gress - Bear Announcer"

"Anne Stedman - Woman"

"Steve Irwin - The Crocodile Hunter"

"Victor Raider-Wexler - Judge B. Duff"