"[In the diner] Did you guys know, that the average penis size is 6.4 inches? And that the average vaginal canal is 7.9 inches.Therefore, in this country alone, there's over 17,000 miles of unused, virgin pussy out there."

"Richard Portnow as Toupee Jay"

"Never go swimming. You'll drown."

"Rod Steiger as Nick"

"This one's for all the marbles, boys."

"You beat them, you take their money, you call them names to their faces... and they love you. I don't know how you do it. I never saw anything like it. Beating a man out of his money, that's easy. Anybody can do that. But beating a man out of his money and making him like it... that's an art. That's an art of a true hustler."

"Ernie Reyes Jr. as Tang"

"Yes, take that you motherless motherfuckers!"

"[Voiceover] The poolhall's a great equalizer. In the poolhall, nobody cares how old you are, how young you are, what color your skin is or how much money you've got in your pocket... It's about how you move. And I remember this kid once who could move around a pool table like nobody had ever seen. I mean, hour after hour, rack after rack, his shots just went in. The cue was part of his arm and the balls had eyes. And the thing that made him so good was... He thought he could never miss. I know, 'cause that kid was me."

"Hey Moose, I was watching TV with your wife last night. Stupid bitch took her two hours to watch 60 Minutes."

"Alfred Rubin Thompson as Ernie Bullock"

"Bill Smitrovich as Judge Herman Rothwax"

"You watch those nature documentaries on the cable? You see the one about lions? You got this lion. He's the king of the jungle, huge mane out to here. He's laying under a tree, in the middle of Africa. He's so big, it's so hot. He doesn't want to move. Now the little lions come, they start messing with him. Biting his tail, biting his ears. He doesn't do anything. The lioness, she starts messing with him. Coming over, making trouble. Still nothing. Now the other animals, they notice this. They start to move in. The jackals; hyenas. They're barking at him, laughing at him. They nip his toes, and eat the food that's in his domain. They do this, then they get closer and closer, bolder and bolder. Till one day, that lion gets up and tears the shit out of everybody. Runs like the wind, eats everything in his path. Cause every once in a while, the lion has to show the jackals, who he is."

"Sharon Washington as Debra Kane"

"Ken Leung as Dr. Victor Liu"

"Leigh Gill as Gary Puddles"

"When I was a kid, I figured out right away: most companies pay people enough, so as they don't quit. People work hard enough, so as they don't get fired. You know, what's that?"

"Steve Coogan as Paddy Meyers"

"Harry Lawtey as Harvey Dent"