Donkey Kong

"Oh, huh. But sir...I think this news will really cheer you up!"

"My mom always told me to wear my helmet!"

"Duhhh... is it Tuesday today?"

"Duh, I was in Dreamyland..."

""He's in a baaad mood"."

"♪The wheels on the mine cart go round and round, round...♪ Hey. What happened to Uncle Swampy?"

""Uncle Swampy always says bye-bye"."

"Klump: Hip hup, hip hup, hippityyyy HUPP! Krusha? KRUUUUUUUUUUUSHA? Krusha: (From a distance) KLUUUUUUUUMP? Klump: Oh KRUUUUUUUUSHA? K. Rool: Klump? Where's the Magic Amulet? Haven't you found Donkey Kong yet? Klump: Uh, almost, sir! K. Rool: ALMOST? AS IN, "I'M ALMOST READY TO BARBEQUE YOUR SORRY CARCASS"?!? Klump: Uh, no.... Somewhere as in, somewhere between Not really, and sorta kinda... K.Rool: Don't tell me you're lost! Klump: Oh negative sir, my keen sense of sight, smell and direction have yet to fail me.... Hip hup, hip Hup (Marches off, than comes back) Hip hup...... Hip hup, whatcha got? K. Rool: A general whose brain can't hold a thought!"

"Cranky: DK, back to the cabin PRONTO! Donkey Kong: But we haven't found the Well of Woe yet.... Cranky: There is no Well of Woe you knucklehead, I made it up to teach you two goons a lesson! DK and Diddy: A practical joke? Donkey Kong: You mean, the Amulet isn't even evil? Cranky: IT'S JUNK!!!!"

"Cranky: To the Forbidden Forest! Hurry! Donkey Kong: (quickly) No can do! Diddy Kong: Oh, not again... Cranky: What are you talking about? Diddy: When DK was a kid, he thinks he saw a Bog Monster.... Donkey Kong: I DIDN'T THINK! I SAW! Cranky: Theres no such thing as Bog Monsters.... Donkey Kong: Oh yeah? Tell that to the one I saw! Cranky: THAT WAS ME THAT DAY, YA BIG GOOF!"

"K. Rool: (after firing Klump) Well now, General, what do you think of your new position? Krusha: But, uh, I ain't moved."

"Bluster: Hey, Candy. Surprise! Candy: A birthday cake. How original, Bluster. Bluster: Yes, I am a thoughtful son-of-a-gun. Happy birthday! Banana cream, your favorite! Candy: Rejected; I'm watching my figure. Bluster: Don't bother, I'm watching it for you."

"K. Rool: [Krusha is] a natural... disaster, that is! Klump: Deploy the tranquilizer dart, sir? K. Rool: No! Kill it! Klump: Uh, does he get any last words? K. Rool: The music, you militant mushhead!!"

"K. Rool: Once again, I, King K. Rool, have done the impossible. What do you think, Klump? Klump: (does jumping jacks) Doododododododododododooooo! K. Rool: I wish you wouldn't do that!"

"K. Rool: (after winning the dance contest) Now let me see, what do I want? To be ruler of all of Kongo Bongo Island? That sounds good... Cranky: It's not your fault, Donkey Kong. Klump: (celebrates with his jumping jacks) Doododododododododododooooo! K. Rool: I WISH YOU WOULDN'T DO THAT! Cranky: Hahahahaha! Looks like you got your one wish, K. Rool!"

"(DK and Dixie are sitting in the woods when Krusha comes up behind them.) Krusha: (in DK's voice) Hey, what about you, Dixie? Little Dixie Doodles. You are fine. Dixie: Huh? What is up with you, DK? DK: What? I didn't say anything! Krusha: C'mon! Put a lip lock on me, Dixie! That chump chimp Diddy will never know! Dixie: Why you lousy double crossin' two timin'... wait till Diddy gets a load of this!!!"

"Bluster: Do I get any last requests? K. Rool: OK, but it can't be too expensive! Bluster: Nonono! I simply wish to sing a song! (starts singing "100 Banana Bunches on the Wall" with Krusha and some Kritters)"

"K. Rool: Left turn, Krusha! We're heading back to the base for a brainstorming session! Krusha: Left? K. Rool: Right! Krusha: Right. K. Rool: No! I mean-- (Krusha turns right and the minecart crashes around the corner) Lunkhead!"

"K. Rool: Tell them the plan, Klump! Klump: A4 will go to the left, and A5 will... K. Rool: Keep it simple, Klump! Klump: We're going to Cranky's house to steal the Crystal Coconut! Any questions!?"

"K. Rool: I'll go on national television! Klump: ...On the 'Sing Along with Uncle Swampy' show?"

"Klump: Good. I won't have to say 'fire'. (The Kritters fire their Klap-Blasters.) What the-? Stop, you moronic, robotic lizards!! STOOOOOOOPPPPPP!!!!!!!! Kritter 1: "Stop"? Did he say "stop"? Kritter 2: I thought he said "fire"! Klump: When I said "fire", I didn't mean fire! (The Kritters fire again.) Oh, I give up. What's the use? Soon King K. Rool will have his barrel supersonic satellite, and I'll be nothin' but a rest-home reptile. Diddy: What's going on up there? DK: I don't know. But there's Kritters and Klaptraps. That means King K. Rool's not far behind. (After two Klaptraps ate Bluster's Banana Flip.) Klaptrap 1: You know what I hate about hair? Klaptrap 2: You eat a head full and half an hour later, you're hungry again. Bluster: MY BANANA FLIP!!"

"Cranky: Well, you did get the Trigger Barrels. But, I only needed two, not 2,000! DK: That reminds me. Bluster told me to give you this. (DK gives the receipt to Cranky, causing his eyes to widen in shock.) DK: He says it's due in 30 days. Cranky: DONKEY KOOOOOOOOOONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"DK: Little buddy? Diddy: I'm way ahead of you, DK! Cranky: DONKEY KOOOOOOOOOONG!!!"

"Cranky: I'm sure that Bluster was up to some monkey business with the crystal, but what? DK: Why don't you just ask it? Cranky: Good idea, Donkey Kong. Did that blowhard Bluster ask you for something? Heart, flowers, bees... A love potion! DK and Diddy: A love potion? DK: What would Bluster want with a... Love potion?! BLUUUSTERRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"(K. Rool is playing a video game on his computer.) Krusha: Only 500 more points to beat your record, your croc-ship. K. Rool: Come on, come on, come on!!! (Klump appears on the computer, erasing the game.) Klump: General Klump, King K. Rool sir! Y'read me, you’re high 'n mightyness? ...Looking a little pale there, chief! K. Rool: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (K. Rool smashes the computer and takes deep breaths. Klump calls on the cell phone.) Klump: Chief? You there, chief? Krusha: For you, your highness. Klump: Seems we had some sort of interference."

"Green Kroc: If we dig any deeper, we'll sink the island! Kutlass: Aye! Are you sure we buried that treasure here, Captain-a-Skurvy, sir? Skurvy: Aye! X marks the spot! It be buried here, positively! Why, I'd even stake my reputation as the scurviest sea dog on it. I'd--ah, but even so, y'might wants to take a look over thar."

"Green Kroc: Why does we bury the treasure, Captain? Skurvy: Why does we bury the treasure? WHY DOES WE BURY THE TREASURE?! Kutlass! Tell Mr. Green Kroc here why we be buryin' treasure! Kutlass: Ahem. According to Section D, Paragraph 4 of The Pirate-a Handbook-a, any and all-a treasure acquired by ill-gotten means shall and will be systematically buried... sir. Skurvy: So there be your answer, Mr. Green Kroc-Smarty Boots! Now, not another word. Green Kroc: But, if we just gonna be digging it up again... Skurvy: ARE YOUR EARS FULL OF COTTON, SAILOR!?!"

"DK: Y'see, I got bumped on the head, and now, um, who am I? Kutlass: You're Donkey... (Skurvy interrupts him with an elbow blow to the gut) Skurvy: ...KROC! DK: Huh? Skurvy: Aye! Donkey Kroc! Me old first mate! Green Kroc: But, I'm-a-your first-- (Skurvy elbows him in the gut, too) Skurvy: Surely you must remember Mr. Green Kroc, and me second mate, Kutlass."

"Skurvy: And now that I have retrieved the Crystal Coconut, I shall rule the Six Seas! Polly Roger: Bhawk! Last I counted there was seven. Skurvy: Even better!"

"Skurvy: Now what be we doin', lads? Kutlass: Section D, Paragraph 4, Captain-a-Skurvy, sir! Green Kroc: Gift-wrap it?"

"Green Kroc: Maybe we should get [DK] to dig up the holes before we get rid of him? Skurvy: Aye, but I can't stands having any more of that monkey stuff on my ship. Kutlass: Easy for you to say! You just hold the map; you don't have to dig! Skurvy: "What be that, third mate?!""

"K. Rool: So that's the reason Donkey Kong took my throne! Klump: He, uh, wanted a seat?"

"K. Rool: Krusha! Abort the mission and come back to headquarters immediatly! Krusha: I can't..... K. Rool: WHY NOT??!! Krusha: Something bad happened... K. Rool:(Groans angrily) Then find Klump and tell him to get his leathery hide back here immediatly! Krusha: Kluuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuump!!! (The camera reveals that Klump is right next to Krusha) Klump: Ya don't have to shout! K. Rool: Klump? Klump: HAHAA! Heh. Oh, hello there, sir. Everything um... under control here. (K. Rool shuts off his monitor) K. Rool: One more of my villain tutorials lesson 109 states: "If all else fails, implement and execute famous diabolical plan... Yourself!""

"Skurvy: OK, you lard-backed landlubber, hand over the amulet! K. Rool: Oh no, it's a nasty old pirate! OK, you win. (hands Skurvy the amulet in exchange for the Coconut) Skurvy: Arr, I be wantin' all the booty - the Crystal Coconut, too! Give it over! K. Rool: I would, but your hands are full. Allow me to relieve you of the hand cannon. Skurvy: "Oh, why, thank ye, mate. (K. Rool takes the cannon and points it at Skurvy.) K. Rool: All right, you uneducated piece of vermin! Skurvy: Arrrr! That be a dirty trick!"

"Skurvy: So, you hand over the cannon, and I give you the amulet? K. Rool: NO! Keep the cannon; I only want the Crystal Coconut! Skurvy: But who gets the amulet? K. Rool: WHO CARES, YOU IMBECILE!?"

"DK: Boy, it sure is nice having the Crystal Coconut back. Cranky: You can say that again! DK: Boy, it sure is nice having..."

"Cranky: Well, that's a relief. Back where it belongs. DK: You know, Cranky, maybe you better find a safer place for the Coconut. Cranky: Nah, as long as I carry a big stick, no one will mess with me! (Eddie the Mean Old Yeti barges in.) Diddy: Unless it's someone with an even bigger stick! Eddie: Me, Eddie! DK, Diddy and Cranky: THE MEAN OLD YETI!!!"

"Candy: Okay, Donkey Kong, you've got your peace and quiet. Now what? DK: I wrote a song for you, Candy. (starts singing) ♪100 banana bunches on the wall! 100 banana bunches! If one of the bunches should happen to bruise, 99 banana bunches on the wall!♪ Candy: You wrote that for me? DK: Yep! 'Cause you're prettier than a barrel full of bananas, Candy! And there's more, a lot more!"

"Klump: Thunderin' artillery! Did you hear that? Krusha: Uh, hear what? Klump: "Will you marry me?"! Krusha: Me? Klump: No, ya noncommissioned nincompoop! Donkey Kong! Krusha: You want to marry Donkey Kong? Klump: No! Donkey Kong's gettin' married! We gotta tell King K. Rool immediately! (Soon, at the hideout...) K. Rool: Who did you say was getting married? Krusha: Me and Klump. Klump: Never mind him, sir."

"Klump: Shall I requisition an exploding wedding cake, sir? Or booby-trap the bouquets? Or obliterate the hors d'evoures? K. Rool: You're not exactly a romantic, are you, Klump? Klump: Negatory on that, sir."

"Klump: Permission to ask why you care about the enemy's forthcoming marriage, your sentimental slobbiness? K. Rool: Because who's more important than the king? Krusha: Uh, you are?"

"K. Rool: Now that I have the Crystal Coconut in my possession, maybe it's time I thought about settling down with a wife! Klump: Sorry, sir, but I can't volunteer for that mission! Thank you for askin', though."

"Diddy: Gee, DK, you're the bravest ape in Kongo Bongo. You're not afraid of getting married, are you? DK: Don't be silly. It's just that the future ruler of Kongo Bongo isn't allowed to get married. Yep, that's it - the Crystal Coconut forbids it! Diddy: Really? I never knew that. DK: Neither did I until just now. How's it sound?"

"DK: Hey, Bluster? This is devastating! We're done for, doomed! Yet you look... Bluster: Curious? Yes, as to what that crab is doing on King K. Rool's back. K. Rool: You think someone with my educational background is going to fall for such a desperate, infantile trick as the old 'crab-on-the-back' routine? (Crabby bites him.) Huh? YEEEEOOOOOWWW!!!!!!!!!!!"

"K. Rool: Think of the possibilities, Klump. Do you realize the things I could do with the Crystal Coconut in one hand and the Golden Banana in the other? Klump: Um... eh, juggle?"

"K. Rool: So any further along with your "clever plan", Klump? Klump: Makin' headway, King K. Rool, sir. So far, we've managed to decode "assault", "like lightning", "night raid", "no prisoners", and "running shoe". K. Rool: Running shoe?! Klump: "Well, it might be "rooster", but it would change everything we've got so far."

"K. Rool: Even brain-challenged bozos like you must have noticed that time has stopped. Klump: Well, that's a relief, sir. I thought my watch was broken. Krusha: Ooh, does this mean I can stay up late?"

""Donkey all confused"."

"Diddy: It's a 'Dear John' letter! DK: Ah, thank you. For a second there I thought this was meant for me."

"DK: BANANA-SLAMMA! K. Rool: What an odd thing to say when somebody's chasing you."