American Films

"Good. You're a hard-working fine young man. Let's hope you're not brutally murdered, too!"

"Simon Rex as Human Torch"

"Robert Joy as Stephen Hawking"

"Brent Spiner as Dr. Strom"

"I think I have...superpowers!"

"I'm looking seriously over the city...in a squatting position."

"Ryan Hansen as Lance Landers"

"Jeffrey Tambor as Dr. Whitby"

"Leslie Nielsen as Uncle Albert"

"Kevin Hart as Trey"

"Tracy Morgan as Professor Xavier"

"If I hadn't pushed her out of the way she would have die...aaaaaaah!"

"I met a guy at Craigslist."

"Marion Ross as Aunt Lucille"

"Dude, you're on my gargoyle."

"What are you doing?"

"How's that feel, Invisi-Bitch?!"

"Sara Paxton as Jill Johnson"

"Those are Celine Dion lyrics!"

"Look at you, eatin' junk food, wearin' fake beards."

"Christopher McDonald as Lou Landers/Hourglass"

"Regina Hall as Mrs. Xavier"

"Make a costume, shit-head! I swear, they're gettin' dumber and dumber every year!"

"Yes, you see, we confused you with one of our sex-change patients, but don't worry, we didn't remove your penis. We did, however, cut off your testicles, but since your wife's dead, you won't be needin' 'em!"

"Yes I know... [while fainting]"

"No, it's not your dead wife."

"How do I know that baby's even mine?!"

"Hey anyone want to get high? I have some hash with me. White guy in the dreads, you know what I am talking about? Can I get a what-what? Holla! I've got a stiff pole for your sweet hole. Anyone? Anyone? Pussies!"

"You have an incredible ass!"

"Squatting on a glass table...two girls...one cup...you know what to do!"

"[before falling down after Albert pushed him] Shiiiit!..."

"Don't forget about the bitches."

"Watch where you're going in slo-mo, dipshit!"

"And once a month you'll bleed from your vagina!"

"I'll drive."

"You did surgery on me?"

"That's a lie. I think of suicide every single day."

"We have people who can walk through walls. And we have people who think they can walk through walls!"

"I can't breathe; you're kneelin' on my balls!"

"Holy shit!"

"Get the fire extinguisher!"

"Get a blanket or something!"

"Aah, stop you idiot!"

"Drake Bell as Rick Riker/Dragonfly"

"Because he can do this!"

"Bill Striglos - Various Explorers"

"Luck Hari - Officer"

"Mickie McGowan - Ensign"

"Bob Bergen - Loop Group, Squad Leader"

"Jack Angel - Truck Driver, Sergeant"