"I saw the first Kick-Ass and I loved it. I thought it was an amazing movie. It’s just a great action film that caught me off-guard. You see all these super hero movies, and super heroes have a moral code that they live by and it seemed like in Kick-Ass, that wasn’t the case. It was survival on the streets and still try to fight crime. I think that’s a more realistic version of what vigilantes would be."

"You are so fucking dead, man! [gets stabbed by Hit-Girl]"

"[about to fire the bazooka] Say hello to my little friend!"

"Fuck this shit, I'm getting the bazooka!"

"[in mockingly childish falsetto] Mommy! I want a Kick-Ass party! [in normal voice] Dumb little fucks."

"As a great man once said, "Wait 'til they get a load of me!"."

"That's right, we're superheroes, you love us."

"Mindy? No more homework, baby doll. It's time for Frank D'Amico to go bye-bye."

"[lifts up gun at Mindy] You're gonna be fine, babydoll! [shoots Mindy in the chest]"

"[after saving Big Daddy and Kick-Ass from being executed on live television] Show's over, motherfuckers. [destroys the video camera]"

"[after killing Cody in his car with a car crusher] What a douche."

"Okay, you cunts, let's see what you can do now."

"With no power comes no responsibility, except that wasn't true."

"Crispin Glover — Stayne – Knave of Hearts"

"It’s ok, It’s ok, It’s ok."

"When was the last time you had one drink?"

"You do know that interventions typically don't involve binge drinking?"

"He can stand me up, but he can’t stand you up. And he can't stand my little sister up."

"She’s supposed to be back. She is not back."

"[to Ally] He's in love with you. I've only ever seen him look at one other girl the way he looks at you, and she's a lot shorter and shares his DNA."

"You give me the word and I will steal their bikes."

"[In jail] It must be nice living at the bookstore, by yourself, with all your stacks of books. But, you see, I actually plan on having a career, and a wife, and a girlfriend, and a... and a divorce, and a mid-life stalking episode, and an erectile dysfunction."

"That’s why chicks dig you out, man. They love this freaky poetic crap."

"You’ve been a ghost past couple weeks, alright? You don’t want to go out anymore. I’ve had enough of this introvert shit, ok? I’m ready to set up an intervention here!"

"(voiceover) Whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it 'cause nobody else will. Like when someone comes into your life and half of you says: "You're nowhere near ready". And the other half says: "Make her yours forever". Michael, Caroline asked me what would I say if I knew you could hear me. I said: "I do know. I love you. God, I miss you, and I forgive you"."

"(voiceover) Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it. I tend to agree with the first part. Michael, you know what I'm starring at. By 22 Gandhi had three kids, Mozart 30 symphonies and Buddy Holly was dead. You once told me our fingerprints don't fade from the lives that we touch. Is that true for everybody? Or was it just poetic bullshit?"

"(voiceover) This girl, her life slipped into me."

"(voiceover) Someone comes into your life and half of you says, 'You're nowhere near ready.' And the other half says, 'Make her yours forever'"

"(voiceover) If I knew you could hear me I would say, 'Our fingerprints don't fade from the lives we touch.'"

"(voiceover) Gandhi said that whatever you do in life will be insignificant, but it's very important that you do it, 'cause nobody else will."

"Frank Welker — The Bandersnatch"

"Paul Whitehouse — Thackery"

"Imelda Staunton — Tall Flower Faces"

"Jim Carter — The Executioner"

"Michael Gough — Dodo Bird"

"Christopher Lee — The Jabberwocky"

"Barbara Windsor — Mally"

"Timothy Spall — Bayard"

"Michael Sheen — McTwisp"

"Stephen Fry — Chessur"

"Alan Rickman — Absolem"

"Marton Csokas — Mr. Kingsleigh"

"Tim Pigott-Smith — Lord Ascot"

"Geraldine James — Lady Ascot"

"Lindsay Duncan — Helen Kingsleigh"

"Frances de la Tour — Imogene"

"Matt Lucas — Tweedledee & Tweedledum"

"Helena Bonham Carter — Red Queen"

"Anne Hathaway — White Queen"

"Johnny Depp — Mad Hatter"