First Quote Added
April 10, 2026
Latest Quote Added
"Jason Drucker as Greg Heffley"
"Owen Asztalos as Rowley Jefferson"
"Greg Heffley! You are grounded for life! And I swear, never again will you play a video game as long as there is breath in my body."
"This is an unplugged road trip."
"The only connection we're gonna do, is with each other."
"Charlie Wright as Rodrick Heffley"
"The pig's better potty trained than you, Greg."
"Oliver the Dog as Sweetie Heffley"
"Phil Hayes as Stan Warren"
"Alf Humphreys as Mr. Jefferson"
"Bronwen Smith as Mrs. Jefferson"
"Mira Silverman as Brandi Beardo"
"Jeff Kinney as Mr. Hills"
"Find Sparrow for me, and relay a message from Capitán Salazar. Salazar! Tell him... I will behold the daylight again, and on that day... Death... Death will come straight for him. Will you say that to him? Please? (Henry Turner: "Yes.") I wish I could do it myself, but dead men tell no tales."
"Grayson Russell as Fregley"
"[Seeing Jack the Monkey] Aah! Monkey!"
"Alicia Silverstone as Susan Heffley"
"I got us a microwave pizza. [he puts the pizza on a black box which is usually a safe which is locked up tight instead of a microwave] And they disguised it as a microwave."
"Steve Zahn as Frank Heffley"
"Connor and Owen Fielding as Manny Heffley"
"Peyton List as Holly Hills"
"Dead Men. Tell. No. Tales.[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqftOTvYYd8 ]"
"Rachael Harris as Susan Heffley"
"[after snagging Posideon's Trident] Hola, Sparrow."
"Heather: [after Rodrick knocks down her ice bust; enraged] No. NO! [picks up a microphone stand and walks over to him; lividly] I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!"
"Devon Bostick as Rodrick Heffley"
"Robert Capron as Rowley Jefferson"
"Hey, what is that? A store-bought s'mores maker? A TV?! Pre-tied knots?! Stan, you're a phony! So much for the big camper."
"Melissa Roxburgh as Heather Hills"
"A refrigerator? Ready-made meals? And a TV? This isn't camping!"
"I feel like a gangster right now!"
"Golshifteh Farahani as Shansa"
"This song goes out to a very special little lady. Heather Hills... this one's for you."
"You know what my grandpa always used to say? "A man who never made a mistake never made anything. The trick is to be responsible and to learn from your mistakes." And you can do that. You're a really great kid, Greg. And I'm not just saying that because we're a lot alike."
"Wyatt and Dylan Walters as Manny Heffley"
"Karan Brar as Chirag Gupta"
"Tom Everett Scott as Frank Heffley"
"Loaded diaper, activate."
"Brian Boland - Daniel Rey, Kristi's husband"
"- Ali Rey, Daniel's daughter"
"- Katie, Kristi's sister"
"- Kristi Rey"
"Vivis Cortez - Martine"
"Seth Ginsberg - Brad"
"Daniel? Is that you? Katie?"
"Javier Bardem as Captain Armando Salazar"
"We just can't let this affect us that much. If we do that, the terrorists win."
"Zachary Gordon as Greg Heffley"
"Jackson Xenia Prieto and William Juan Prieto - Hunter Rey"
"I don't know if the house is haunted, but I hope it is."